"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."
"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
"Your services might be as useful as a barber’s shop on the steps of a guillotine."
