Good afternoon cyberspace! Just a collection of amusing quotes and sayings I've come across while surfing the web...hope you enjoy them!
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
-- Drew Carey
I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.
-- Sting
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
-- Oliver Herford
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.
It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!
Do stairs go up or down?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? (ok, now how many of you just tried it??? lol)
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Emo Philips
"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow."
John Wayne.
