FLPoet's blog: "funny, fun, and kinda sad!"

Unable to see what’s in front of me, Blinded by my own pride, Soaking at the bottom of the bottle, Drowning off of these pills I only smile ear to ear, When I just plainly don’t care, I only sneer, When I just plainly think of fear Useless, Unforgettable, Unforgiving, Meaningless, Nothingness These are the many things I fear of becoming, love me when you can, need me when you want, call me if you care I'm tired of seeing what isn't there, talking to all my friends whom seem to care more then you, I don't care anymore that you do or what I become this is me saying good bye, this is me saying so long, this is me telling you fair well

i feel like i'm not good enough at times. please don't think of me as being emo but i'm in a relationship and i feel like he's pushing me away he's telling me everything is ok but he's not answering my texts and doesn't seem to want to see me/be with me. he tells me i'm reading too much into things that aren't there however i see him hanging around and talking to a woman that i do know. and when i try to talk to him he says 'Why are you so needy?" idk i'm reaching out to you all is pushing me away? should i trust him or should i end it? thank you so much for helping me!

i'm good at reading people and can read minds and read situations before they occur. but today i'm shocked i never say this coming. i called a friend of mine she was having a pretty good day until she stared crying on the phone. she told me her and her husband aren't doing too well and that he cheated on her. my jaw drops because i've known them both for quite a long time and that he is so in love with her. she told me that she found a love letter with lip stick on it titled "how badly i wanted tonight" i asked her what did he look like when you showed him the letter? she said he was all red and up set to the point he let the house and didn't come back til an hour latter and when he got back he grab a beer and sited down on a chair next to me and said lets talk. he told her that this woman he's been working with has a crush on him and that he doesn't feel the same until a night ago when she kissed him. he wanted to tell her about it but didn't know how get the words out. but, now that she confronted him he felt more at ease. he then went into their bed room and grab a pare of boxers that aren't his and slammed them on the table and asked her can you tell me about this? i told what the fuck!? you were cheating on him? she told me Anthony those were yours when you slept over and had to use our shower you left them behind. i was laughing and i said oh shit. she told him that then text me to call them up. we were laughing when it finally hit us, we are really close friends and that he didn't cheat on her and told her you better leave and i'm never going to work with you again. he showed her his e-mail to her and another letter to his boss (his best friend) then he asked me you wear sexy underwear i was laughing. i'm going to see them this week-end and have a little quit dinner. and talk about this some more i guess he thinks i did do something with his wife. but we were are friends in high school and me and her never saw each other that way. idk its going to be kinda weird.

I'M RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD THINKING OF THE THINGS I NEVER SAID IF LOVES MEANS LETTING GO BETTER FOR YOU TO KNOW I DIDN'T GIVE UP I FOUGHT AND I TRIED HELL I GAVE IT ANOTHER TRY HOLDING YOU TILL MY ARMS AND HANDS FELL ASLEEP BREATHING YOU IN AND DREAMING ALL THE SAME OH I WISH I LOVED YOU CAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU AND FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I'M WALKING AWAY LEAVING YOU AND US BEHIND

i messed up i said something i didn't know the meaning of neither the way it would make you feel! i admit i said some fucked up things in the past but nothing ever like this! god damn me I'm not worthy of your love and everything i did and said i wish i can take it all back! I'm not the type of guy that kisses and tells or the kind that wants only one thing! I'm the reject I'm the fool, I'm the one fucking things up I'm the one who hurt you oh so many times! yes I'm deep and maybe a little psycho but I'm honest enough to share my flaws with the world! i said i love a million times but i never said I'm sorry! I'm sorry for leaving you in the dust while i think of my self and my career! I'm sorry for not opening up to you while i'm open with everyone else! I'm sorry for being an asshole to you when you were the only one who stopped me from killing my self! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so sorry! (god damn me = asking god to damn them self's for everything ones done)