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Everyone who has a dog calls him rover or boy, I call mine sex. Now sex has been very embarrassing to me. Last night sex ran off again. I spent several hours looking for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00am in the morning"? I said I was looking for sex....my court case comes up monday morning.
When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license I told the clerk I would like to have a license for sex. He said "I'd like to have one too." Then I said "but this is a dog". He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "you dont understand.....I've had sex since I was nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have sex at the wedding. He told me to wait untill later. I said "but sex has played a big role in my life, and my whole life style revolved around Sex". He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life, and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone comming to the wedding would enjoy having sex there. The next day we were married by the justice of the peace.....our families have been barred from the church.
When we went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for sex. He said that every room in the place was for Sex. I said "you don't understand, sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said "me too".
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the compitition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I planned on having sex in the contest....he told me to sell tickets. but you don't understand, I said, "I had hoped to have sex on t.v." He called me a showoff.
When my wife, and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "your honor, I had sex b4 I was married" The judge said "me too." Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said "me too."
Now I've been married, divorced, thorwn in jail, and have had more damn trouble with that dog than I had ever gabled for. Why just the other day I went for first session with a psychiatrist, he said "What seems to be your problem?" I replied, "Hell, Sex died and left my life, it's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "look mister, you and I both know that Sex isn't man's best friend." GO GET YOUR SELF A DOG!
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