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Potentially vs. Realistically: A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million could buy?" The boy pondered that for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, sir. Potentially, we're sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a queer."

The Husband Store

The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the product increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor . This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. ---------------------------------------------------------- To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Sex Fairy

The Sex Fairy > > This is hilarious! I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy! > > 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find > that when women make > love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, > which makes hair shine and > skin smooth. > ============= > 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances > of suffering dermatitis, > skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced > cleanses the pores and makes > your skin glow. > ============= > 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled > on during that romantic > dinner. > ============= > 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. > It stretches and tones > up just about every muscle in the body. It's more > enjoyable than swimming 20 > laps, and you don't need special sneakers! > ============= > 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It > releases endorphins into > the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and > leaving you with a feeling > of well-being. > ============= > 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be > offered. The sexually active > body gives off greater quantities of chemicals > called pheromones. These > subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! > ===========! == > 7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT > IS 10 TIMES MORE > EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. > ============= > 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. > Kissing encourages saliva to > wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of > the acid that causes decay, > preventing plaque build-up. > ============= > 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking > session can release the > tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. > ============= > 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. > Sex is a natural > antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay > fever.
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