After tears, talking, thinking,
I've come to realize,
don't hold on to hope,
hope is bullshit.
when you're down and out,
and everything sucks,
you try to hold on to,
the one good thing going.
But then it breaks.
and crumbles away like everything else in my life.
without notice, without explination.
without anything to deal.
Sobriety sucks,
no more prescription relief,
no alcohol to drink,
no razors to cut.
I want so badly to bleed
It's been over a year.
I want to get rid of this pain.
I just want to feel.
I'm hated by all,
Ive lost all my friends,
the only two things that are here
are my notebook and pen.
I write down my feelings,
but they always seem fake.
Like "I Love my Life!"
When its life I can't take.
I want to be whole,
I want to be happy again...
but all hope is lost, fuck it all.
I'll lie here in bed,
burn down a cigarette,
lay down my head,
and dream those dreams,
wasted away thoughts,
wasted away words,
people think they understand,
yet they never do.
they've never cried the tears I cried,
they don't have the scars,
they don't have the flashbacks,
to me its all surreal,
this life is fake,
like most people I know.
So don't pretend you're real, cause I don't have time for you.
