clayman80's blog: "fucking boring sidney!!!"

Why do i close myself off to the world??? It only makes things worse... I need to go to bed, I'm too fucking drunk to make sense...

Why do i close myself off to the world??? It only makes things worse... I need to go to bed, I'm too fucking drunk to make sense...

Dear lord, getting into that straight vodka drinking game with the mad Arab was a bad idea. I feel like a semi parked on my back...

Let me tally things up for you.

• Woke up on three hours of sleep due to a fight outside with dumbass neighbors
• Received my first speeding ticket in 10 years
• An item that was shipped to me from overseas was returned to sender because my mail man is a complete asstard
• Received one flat tire and had to wait over an hour on the side of the Interstate 55 for AAA to get there
• While waiting for AAA, the STL police decided to harass me and told me if AAA doesn't get here soon, they would impound my vehicle
• Also while waiting, some random guy came up to give me some "advice" that amounted to him saying I'm fucked, and don't get hit by a car and die
• I have an electrical short in the steering column of my car, ergo, I have no blinkers
• Because of the aformentioned speeding ticked and lack of blinkers, I am hesitant to drive my car to the tire store to get a real tire instead of this goofy ass donut...

somebody entertain me!!!

I fail to see the lies they seek I fail to hear their dying screams I fail to waken from this sleep I fail to lead my loyal sheep Take away your voice Take away your choice We've come a long long way We're here, and here to stay Take away your sight Take away your rights We've got you in our net We are your government Give you basic needs Give you hate and greed We've come a long long way We're here, and here to stay Show you desperation Show you a failing nation We've got you in our net We are your government Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep I fail to see the lies they seek I fail to hear their dying screams I fail to waken from this sleep I fail to lead my loyal sheep My mind awake My body whole I consciously break from this hold I no longer will live this lie I will fight back The greys must die

I am your clock I am your religion I am your shotgun mechanical bride Nothing is done without my approval I own you I decide how long you sleep And how much rest You are ever allowed I decide what you desire I deny you time to think I am the mirror of constant humiliation That follows and shadows you Wherever you go And blocks out the light At the end of every tunnel you try Be on time Be on schedule Always feel Like you're always late And need more scolding and punishment Do not daydream Do not dilly-dally Do not fall behind Wings are flapping right behind you You know what's coming next As I swoop down like a hungry owl And sink my talons into your back And drag you back to square one again The pain gets a little worse every time Crash Crumple Do not pass go Do not collect Your dignity and your self respect Give up It's over No time allowed To try something you like The bills were all due yesterday You've failed You're through First we form our habits Then they form us We dress up as someone else every day Gingerbreadhouses Fireplace surprises What tastes the best The witches won't let you have These days, having a baby Is like what having a BMW used to be While they're asleep Play those New Age cassettes To transmit subliminal messages I like mom I like school I like to study I like rules I am the school teacher Who yelled at you for not paying attention And shame you in front of the entire class And dragged you around the room by the hair This is what happens to boys and girls Whose penmanship is messy Be neat, like the others Follow orders Obey what is put in front of you Imagination is the ultimate sin You can't be creative the rest of your life Your counselor wants a word with you If you liked school, you'll love work Resign yourself to a job you'll hate Get a hobby - but keep it in the garage Shove yourself into a slot Despise your ideas Your boss knows best We can't all do what we want to do Always settle for what you're told to expect Do not take chances You might fail You might fail You don't want to find out the hard way How our society treats The misfits who make mistakes Bad Failure Bad Failure Homeless Depression Mental hospitals Murder Born on the cutting room floor Die in the bin by the door Hypothermia of the spirit Why do people chase So many useless toys In search of the perfect baby sitter "For just $19.95 and just thirteen minutes of your busy day, you can have 'the full, rich experience of parenthood without the mess of the real thing.' It's called Video Baby." Creative Programming, Inc., offer "All of the enjoyment - and none of the commitment." I am your calendar There is no escape I am why you're afraid To respect yourself I lead you down garden path after path With carrots on a stick I'll let you taste but never embrace Peek in the wrong door, I slam it on your fingers Go back Adventure is not allowed Go back - not allowed! I leave you exhausted, henpecked and afraid Never quite enough money Never enough nerve To reach out for something better Than the grind you call your life The hatch of your hamster cage is open But guess who waits just outside the door Stay on your treadmill Keep running on that wire wheel Briefcase in hand Money rains down just out of reach You'll burn out soon enough It's all part of the plan When you're no longer useful You can finally retire To the glue factory of your choice Free at last To scratch your head Wondering what happened Free at last I bid you goodbye On your own To wait to die

Hello?" "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." Brief Pause. Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway." "Okay Daddy, just a minute." A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy." "And what happened honey?" he asked. "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!" "Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?" "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead." ***Long Pause*** Daddy says, "Swimming pool? ... Is this 486-5731?"

thieves, thieves and liars, murderers hypocrites and bastards [in laughter] hey thanks for nothing! morals in the dust two-faced bastards and syncophants no trust thieves! liar! inside, outside, which side, you don't know my side, your side, their side, we don't know which side are they? which side are they? which side of their mouth do you suppose that it came? which side are they? which side are they? which side of the grass is greener? inside, outside, which side, you don't know my side, your side, their side, we don't know you're like a great big fucking sponge, just waiting to get squeezed! breathe, forfeit erection! toxical injection geriatric fuckface we still believe in lies thieves! liar! inside, outside, which side, you don't know my side, your side, their side, we don't know who started it? who started it? which side are they? which side are they? which side of their mouth do you suppose that it came? which side are they? which side are they? which side of the grass is greener? inside, outside, which side, you don't know my side, your side, their side, no one knows you're like a great big hit of acid, waiting to be taken!

Guh, I'm so fucking bored right now I feel like stabbing my eyes out with a pair of tuning forks and tire iron... ...somedays the Internet just blows...