mscuddlesal's blog: "Fubar Experiences"

I never really felt moved to write a blog before, but my experiences of the past week have left me reeling and sad.  It makes me question whether or not it is ever safe to call someone met on Fubar a friend... and, if it is, at what point do you do so?

You see, what happened is that I have found someone special and am very vocal about it... not overly so, but as one might expect from someone who is excited that she has met someone as wonderful as I have.  My version of "shouting from the mountain tops" was in "shouting from my status message."  Most of my Fu-friends were simply happy for me... or at least feigned such.  My special man loved the gesture.

However, one of my Fu-friends decided to contact me in YIM voicing his disapproval of my revealing my feelings for my special man... saying I was "being high school."  I asked him to elaborate and he would not.

The following day, he used YIM to give me a hard time about it.  I was beginning to understand that he thought I should hide my relationship, but did not see why I didn't have the right to exude my joy as much as anyone else.

Day 3... we were in a lounge together and he began making snide comments (i.e. asking me how the pep rally was since I obviously went back to high school, etc...).  I asked him to quit harassing me.  I left the lounge because he wouldn't stop.  Well, he called me on the telephone and let me have "what for" and said he was NOT harassing me.  3 days in a row?  Reasonable people feel harassed.  Anyway... in this phone call, he tried to say he was trying to be a friend and saw way too many Fubar relationships destroyed.  While I think it is fine for a friend to be concerned and even to offer unsolicited advice, the way he chose to convey his message was not like a caring friend but as a taunter.  Furthermore, a friend, in my opinion, makes no demands that his adevice be folllowed.

At any rate, after I had left the lounge, another friend of mine sb'd me and intended to speak with the lounge owner concerning what had happened.  Later in the day, my boyfriend convinced me to speak with the lounge owner (and there are reasons why beyond what I would like to post publicly) and I did.

So this "friend" of mine comes into the lounge moments after I had entered and starts in on me again.  He attempts to call me 3 times in a row to which I make use of the FU button... I am under no obligation to subject myself.  He told me to answer my phone or be embarassed.  When I don't do as he says, he then posts in the lounge a cut and paste from YIM from the lounge owner which was a basically a cut and paste from my conversation with her.  Not quite sure why he thought I would be embarassed, but he asked if I had anything to say.  I said, "Yea, quit harassing me."  He then took issue because I would not answer any remaining tauntings.

I did speak with the lounge owner again whom I think took care of the issue; however, his insistence on my following his advice and my doing what it took to end what I felt like was an attack has severed the friendship... his call, not mine, believe it or not.

So I am extremely sad for having lost who I considered a friend; however, I have to remind myself that anyone who would do that to me probably wasn't really a friend to begin with.  It makes me question friendships formed on Fubar and fear that others can turn as easily.  Believe it or not, his actions have actually illustrated his point about Fubar relationships being destroyed easily. 

I suppose time tells with all relationships, whether they be a friend or lover; however, if we know the likelihood of ever meeting a friend in person is slim to nil, when exactly is it safe to assume they are really a friend?