Beautiful Angel SupportTheTroops's blog: "fu wedding"

i got hurt...and what is worse is i liked him....i thought that we were friends....but now i am not sure if we can be...i feel hurt and used...he didn't mean to but he did...i want to forgive him...no wait...i do forgive him but i will NEVER forget today...i can never forget the pain i felt when i stayed waiting for him...when i thought that maybe just maybe he would show..but i gave up...i just let it all go...he didn't come he wasn't here...and it hurt...i am sorry that i over reacted but it hurt...to think that another "wedding" i was to have didn't happen...another time of getting hurt..another time to lose that little trust i had gained... how do i say that i want to be friends but i am not ready...that i want to talk to him but am worried that i will get upset...why do i feel like this

go away just leave me be i don't want or need the stress i don't want anything i just want it all to go no one really truly cares about the way i feel no one cares about what i think if they did they wouldn't hurt me in the first place if they cared they wouldn't stress me out they would stop and see what the fuck they were doing to me but no do they no do they really care no and should they no so i go on with ppl not really caring

how do say what i want to say i wish everything in my life would go away leave me stress free... how do i make my life quiet how do i become stress free why cant i just accomplish this...

i want to scream... but no sound would be heard this is fake not real life none of you would know if i cried myself to sleep at night none of you would know if i was hurting inside cause its fake nothing on here is real no one would truly care if i was to disappear no one would take notice cause nothing is real not on here no one would be able to see the pain in my eyes no one would be able to realize the hurt that i feel inside no one can see me the real me cause nothing is real

the little things in life suck even worse then the big ones... stress is an everyday thing with me i can't seem to find a time to get away and breath i try but it doesn't matter nothing helps being stressed out just takes the fun out of life i grow older and older every second of everyday having no reason to smile, not even on the inside but why would it matter anyway no one could ever care if i was truly unhappy no one would care if i hit the breaking point no one would care if i was tried of everything no one cares i get used and used and nothing to show for it why can't everything and everyone go away why can't i be alone why can't ppl just go away why do i have to deal with stress why do i have to be here why do i have to be me!!!

why is everything moving so fast..why cant it just all slow down..why can't i be happy, why cant my life be all good nothing bad...why does everything seem to hurt me anymore why cant i win freak it i give up i am just not going to try to be happy anymore why try when nothing works

i need to write so here i go nothing in my life ever goes as it is planed ,everything always has a way of messing up. ppl don't do what they say they are going o do, or they just don't happen. my life is so stressed right now. i wish there was not so much stress in it but it cant be helped. my family tells me all the time that i need to just breath and relax but i cant i always seem to be either helping someone or just trying to get my things done..which is hardly ever.i don't really have much time for myself.i am on here a lot but never like i should really be i am always helping everyone i cant seem to breath..it gets so overwhelming so many times i feel like my whole world is going to cave in..i am so stressed all the time i want to explode much..but i cant for if i did ppl may start to wonder why i did, i just cant be me the real me..i cant do it i don't have the time i have so much stress on my shoulders..i sometimes just wish that i wasn't me..that i lived another life...maybe all this would go away maybe my life would be different don't get me wrong i love my family and all that but i am just so stressed with my life nothing ever ever goes right i have no love in my life, there is not time for it and even if there was it wouldn't last..it never does..just another thing that makes me stressed i stay away from anything that could mean "falling in love" cause love never lasts love is just another thing that keeps me stresed i don't want to be stressed i want to live a half way normal life but that's not possible

here but not talking to anyone.. not just you anyone... for awhile i wont i wont talk i wont say anything i will stay quiet to all i don't want to talk... i want silence i want peace i want everything to go away i want to be alone in my own thoughts i want to cry if i want i want to scream if i want i want to just be alone ...for now... i will talk when i am ready but for now i am quiet

not here.. wont respond leaving tired of everything why is it you try so hard to believe ...and then you get hurt from something that was suppose to be fun something that has no meaning but it did ... it hurt...twice now stood up once in real life once online only difference is this one had a better reason then the guy i was to marry in real life this one didn't hurt me as bad but it made me realize i cant trust for nothing i cant believe in people i can't .. if i believe them i get hurt if i believe them... i die a little more inside i can't do it no more i can't

truths behind lies happiness behind pain friends behind ...nothing nothing real nothing to gain nothing to be over silence unhappiness nothing