Frog Prince
One sunny day, while riding around looking for a princess to lay a little lip on, I'm zapped by this evil witch. (They do that kinda thing, you know?) From prince with a pucker, to frightened frog on a bolting horse. Whoahhhh Nelly! You don't have a great control over horses as a frog, especially when they have just had all hell scared out of them by bolts of lightning and magical frizzles. All you can do is, hold on tight, close those bulging froggy eyes, and pray that the only thing you crash into is a snickering evil witch.
After a couple of embarrassing hours of stuff like, "Hey Mom, there goes a frog on a horse!" and "Looks like Ethyl got herself another prince." exhausted horse and terrified frog prince roll up at the local pond. That lily pad begins to look real good, but these horses are a mile high. Just gotta hold your nose and do your best imitation of a swan dive (frog dive?).
At about this time you find out another fact of life as frog collides with rusted bed frame at about 100 miles per hour. This is where they dump their trash. Frog comes out of the water faster than he went in. Ever wondered why frogs hang out on lily pads? Cause that water tastes foul. But it does attract flies.
I can tell you, it takes some time to get used to being a frog. But after the first few days, your tongue starts to hang out (pretty awesome to see on a frog) and those flies start to look finger licking good.
I never got used to the love life though. After kissing princess's for a living, those froggess's just don't have the same kick. Look lousy in lipstick too. I will admit that they can kiss great, they really use all that tongue. All up though, it's hard to fall in love with something that looks just like you.
So, here I am, lying on my back, dreaming of Kentucky Fried Fly, when this princess comes wading through the pond, a strange sight that made my already bulging little eyes, bulge just that little bit further.
She is deftly avoiding the floating trash, and stepping around the bed frames and barrels on the pond bed, while holding her princess's gown around her waist, and all done with the grace that only a true princess can achieve. She has her lips slightly puckered, as if looking for something to kiss, and is checking out all the frogs ‘REAL’ carefully. I begin to get a little suspicious at this stage, and quickly sit on my legs. I have heard of these strange people who delight in chewing on a frog leg. What ever happened to chickens?
But the closer she gets, the more I'm sure she's interested in kissing rather than chewing. So a quick squirt of the breath freshener (gotta get rid of that fly breath), and I'm sitting there with my lips puckered and my eyes politely closed as she reaches my pad.
One kiss from this gal and it's the 4th of July in my head, fireworks going off everywhere. Wow! This girl sure can kiss. I open my eyes, and I'm a prince again, sitting up to my neck in a stinky frog pond, which might be a good thing as I'm totally, 100% naked.
My princess to the rescue again, quick as a flash she hands me a robe, and takes my hand to help me out of my old swamping grounds.
You know you've found the right girl, when she wades through a swamp, to kiss something even its own mother wouldn't kiss, and she brings extra clothing with her.
There are a few questions still on my mind though, and one of these days I'm going to ask her just what she was doing wading around in a pond kissing frogs for anyway. A frog fetish I suppose. Another thing too, exactly how did she know I was a male frog? It's hard to tell when you are a frog yourself. When was the last time you saw a frog with a beard. Just a lucky guess I suppose, but it could have been mighty embarrassing if she had stopped by old June on the next pad by mistake.
It was definitely my lucky day though. You may not have thought much on the subject, but not a great deal of princess's go around the local ponds kissing frogs, which is probably a good thing if you are the prince dating them.
So here I am, once again a perfectly normal prince, who hangs out with a frog kissing, pond hopping, and kinky princess.
Lucky aren’t I!
