The other day while I was out to get a much needed mullet avoiding haircut, I noticed a sign on a bus stop bench at a red light that caught my eye. It said "Free Tanning" and a phone number.
In a frightening insight into my thoughts, first thing to my mind was "You see that big glaring round thing in the sky? Stand under it." Even worse, my second thought was "Is THAT how they get those spy cam shots on the dirty sites?" My mind wandered to "Yes ma'am, here's your tanning bed. Please ignore the webcam pointed up your vag, and here's some complimentary lotion."
Unfortunately I didn't get a picture before the light turned green, so feel free to weep about not having the number to call.
This concludes this worthless entry.