When I first got told (September '2008') that you had cancer and it was rapid my world stopped. I put my life on hold to fly across the country because you asked me to come, right then all I could think of was hugging you and never letting go.
Mom and I drove to see you every-day in the hospital, not once did we care about ourselves.
you asked for something and we did it, no matter what the request was. I never wanted to leave your side, but I had my kids and job in another part of the country. I bought you a new mobile phone with sim card and credit as I wanted to be able to call you or for you to call me.
I think I was able to talk to you five times? but after that you never answered my calls you never responded to any text messages, and that was that. xmas came, new years came, there was birthdays, I tried to call you for everyone, but I got nothing.
Then one night while at work I got a call telling me that you had been to see the doctor and they had given you 1-2 months to live, the cancer was spreading and fast there was nothing they could do. Your mother in-law told me this, what hurt the most was that it wasn't you who had rung me or your partner it was some-one else.
I had asked her if she had rung our mother and was told no, so it was up to me to tell our mom that you didn't have long to live I was devestated at the fact you had no decentcy at all to tell her yourself. Just so you know I still have dreams sbout that night I told her that her daughters time was nearly up. The screaming and crying and yelling the word NO as she tried to pick herself up off the floor will never leave me, she was alone and I could'nt be there, that I will never forget.
After that we heard nothing. not a call, not a message, nothing. We didnt even know if you were still alive, then people started telling us stuff that we had no idea if they were even true, so many different things from people that never seemed to match anything. We were still in the dark, then we saw you in the newspaper, big spread with your family and sister inlaw and our little sister, the newspaper told us that you were going to get a wish to go to the gold coast on a holiday, wow that was great.
Still in the dark about everything, not knowing is the hardest thing in the world for me because I can't hold you or tell you funny jokes or just hang like we used to when we were younger.
So its now Tuesday 31st of March 2009 and I read on facebook of all places that you and your partner are getting married and guess what? again it was some-one else who told me some-thing
that you my sister should have told me.
Well I guess this is selfish of me for wanting to speak to you my "sister" and congradulate you and to be there on your wedding and to be there when you finally have the peace that you deserved since we found out about the cancer that is taking your life, you've been in so much pain and agony and yet your still so, so stubborn. so here it from my heart
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, I LOVE YOU, AS YOU ARE MY SISTER, MY FRIEND, MY FAMILY.
I will miss you and remember when we fought, cried, laughed and scared the shit out of each other.
In your heart and mine with you I'll always be
your big sister kristy.
