Melliebear Aka serial killer's blog: "First Christmas Without You "

There is a time in everyones life where you loose someone who was your rock, the one who held you down when you felt like you were gonna loose your mind, the one Person you could run to and they would make everything ok. If You Guys Are Anything Like Me you wish more times than others that it was all a dream or hoping that the news you have recieved didn't happen. When the Shock of what you just heard wears off then you have your Greaving Process, This can be Handled in many ways, I Personally will shut every person I Know out, and try and be strong till i break, which i've caught myself doing alot more here Latley then not. Every Year On Christmas We Would Go To My Grandmothers house, this is the first Christmas that we won't be doing that so, its all setting in that Your Truely gone, I cant fix it I Can't Bring You Back Even Though I Would love nothing more than to sit around your Table for one last Christmas Dinner one more Smile from you One More Everything is gonna be fine.. In Reality its not gonna be fine your gone and I Cant Deal, I still havent brought myself to go vist your Grave Site, That Just Makes Reality Even Harder To Face with you being gone, I've stopped myself many times from wandering into your Room where you slept Looking for you, thats come and gone i still have my days where i go and look for you im human and im gonna miss the hell out of you, When The Little Memories find me and sneak out my eyes and run down my Cheeks in the form of Tears, I Can't Help but wonder if this normal to feel so much hate toward the one who took you away, then i realizie it is just perfectly fine to feel the hate I Do. I'm slowly coping with that whenever I Can its an every day process, I Have to keep Reminding myself that your no longer in pain nor are u suffering, I Can't Help But Be Selfesh and want you back with me, I'm Slowly Getting Better at this coping Process but its not easy by any means