FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man,
who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind.
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end.
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed.
I look at the creep you sent me instead. Amen.
MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store. Amen.
