Ok, so I'm stumbling around the internet coming across story after story of different peoples moms. Reading everything from moms working hard to raise a family, on their own, while getting medical degrees... Mom's doing great things for their communities while at the same time raising great kids who want to do the same... Moms doing this and moms doing that... blah blah blah
If I sound somewhat cynical it's because I am. My mom never did anything in her life but get married, have kids, bitch about them... and well.. that's about it. It particularly sticks out in my mind a particular event that took place where my mom told me to my face "I WISH I'D OF NEVER GOTTEN MARRIED AND HAD KIDS!"... (Mother of the year award goes to...)
She's not as bad as she used to be.. the medication sort of helps. She blames alot of the way she is on her own mother... who she ironically turned out to be exactly like in many ways, causing her to not only hate her own mother even more but to hate herself as well, because while she denies it, she knows she's the exact same way.
Personally I'm just lucky I didn't inherit much from that side of the family. Though I'm still not certain where I receive my intelligence from... Dad has a tendency to think I get that from my grandfather on his side.. I tend to think like him, sometimes to the same faults. Bah.. but that's something to save for fathers day I suppose.
It's funny.. I remember a couple different times growing up that dad would come to us and say, "I've tried, but it's just so hard.. I think your mom and I are going to get a divorce"... my response was always the same.. "OK!, Can I go with you??".. which would have been a given, mom never even finished High School and has never really had a real job so to speak.. no judge in the world would stick 2 kids with her... especially considering her instability.
Some of you may read this and think of me horrible for not being more understanding of my mom... well like I said.. she's somewhat better now on the medication.. so long as she takes it.. but i've always held that medication like that doesn't make her the same person.. it makes her a person.. well .. on medication... the real woman that I grew up with calling my "mom" is who she really is.. and that's who she'll always be in my mind.
Happy Mothers day mom!.. (Thankful they don't celebrate holidays because I don't really mean that)
