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Work Tonight!!!!! ( GROWLS )

 I go back to work tonight after being off since APril.
First thing she hits me with is the smoking place has changed. They suppose to of fined her for smoking out front .. Not too forsure on that one.
oh and get this....
She said the state told her you get 1 ... Now 1 .. 10 minute break every eight hours
who the fuk does she think she is, and who the fuk does the think she's kidding?

Second of all I am suppose to clock out before going outside to smoke, and then clock back in and it will be held out of my pay??
 ( I THINK NOT )

Third of all... I'm not going to get paid but on Mondays.
two days after I'm threw for the week
( I THINK NOT )

I was asked to come back for the bowlers.. at $7.25 an hour and to put up with the bull shit that I have to put up with I think I'm better off
Staying right where I was at home.
I"m going in later this evening to speak with her about all of these issues.

Like me or not I'm head strong .
and I hate being lied too in ever aspect of being lied too.
I smoke big fuking deal at least it ain't drugs or alcohol all the time.

~ me ~

My god how I'm hurting on the inside.
Its amazing how one's pride always seems to stand in the way.
God knows how I  feel even though I didnt get a chance to tell you he knows.
To hear you laugh and sound like a lil puppy dog omg.
All those nights we sit at the store and just enjoyed the company of the other .
The endless nights on the computer or on the phone .. Just talking about everything never saying the same things twice.
ALl the private moments that only you and I shared God
how you are missed.
Beverly I love you Please Hear me!!!
the nights at the bar , the Nobody song we sang.
God at all the memories bouncing around in my head.
C'mon and sing it with me for it will never be the same!!
People calling to see if I"m ok and I say no I lost my best friend today.
I hope you didnt feel no pain... and you took all the love that you  gave with you to keep you company till one day we can all be like it use to be.
You  taught me about small purses and how you can still have all the things in them that you need.. NO need for junk you use to say.
You were a VERY SMART WOMAN!  No I don't think I ever made you realize it but you were. 
Beverly I love you please hear me!!!

This last piece is a quote from a song..

"Head strong stubborn couldnt be told like a wild horse that couldnt be rode.. Rainbow chaser hungry for gold and  still searching"

Have had a bad Day!!!!

Its bad when you wake up and are put on the spot of demands. Its bad when you are told threw someone that you are going to have to work more hours. Without your boss calling you. Its bad when you son would rather live in a wreck of a bedroom than clean it. Just for once.. I'd love to wake up to silence, and no phone no mom no nothing but my thoughts and not the ones folks has been putting in my head. I'd love to go for a walk and know its because I want too, and not what others expect of me. Just once I want to live my life for me. So much stress so many pressures. One day I wont answer the phone One day I wont take no one home. One day when all is calm and I'm back to normal I'm going to stand and shout to the world I"m free to be me. One day
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