SlapWilson's blog: "Everything I'm Not Might Be Everything I Am"

Why people only see the bad when they refer to your true colors? If you do something or say something they don’t like, well you just showed your true colors. If you do one thing bad, well those are your true colors. I would think true colors would be reserve for a dominant behavior and not a one time occurrence. Even if the behaviors we’re equal people would go to the bad one as the true color. Like If I said “I love you’ ten times a day and “I hate you” tem times a day, people would go with the hate over the love. Now that I am thinking this out, I might be wrong. How times have a woman got hit by her man and swore to God that was not really him, that he is really a good man. My ex was like that. Her boyfriend would do fuck up shit to her. Beat her, wreck her new car. Stab her in the leg, told her that her father raised a whore, no matter what, she stood by him. It took him to deny her baby for her to see the light. His dominant behavior was that of a foul dude. When she got pregnant from him, she had to pick him up at his girlfriend’s house and go to an hour motel, which she paid for. He was nice while he was fucking but damn, you picked him up from a chick’s house. Can you see the true colors? Let me tell you a story about me. I had a friends with benefits relationship with an older lady. Like right she’s 43 and I am 31. She was from out of town. When she came to Houston we had sex. This lasted 2 years and some change. We hooked up a few times I went out there too. Well when ever she came, it was all about her. Whatever she wanted I would make sure it was taken care of. Some weed, got it. Something to drink, which brand. Food, money, whatever she needed it would be there waiting. It would never fail though, after every visit she would get home and start talking shit. Now most of the time, something like 85% of the time I would be like “Baby I will do better” but there was 15% where I would jab back. I can only take so much. We would always get cool. Well about 2 months ago I was going to Austin where she lived. I was going to get there on Saturday. I sent her an e-mail on Tuesday and asked if she wanted to hook up. “No, I am on my period”. Fine I asked her if she wanted to do lunch on Sunday “No I’m good” Ok. So I go to Austin, party like a rock star and come home. I sent her an IM that night and asked how her weekend was. She said she didn’t do anything it was dull. Well when she found out I went to Austin she got mad because she said I didn’t call her because she was on her period. No I didn’t call because you didn’t want to see me. “Well you should have called anyways”. So a few weeks after letting her cool down I tell her I am going back to Austin “What to hang with you fat friend” Oh no she didn’t. Don’t talk about my friends. So I told her she was a bitter old lady. She got pissed told me I was block. That was a month ago. So I reach out to her today and she tells me that I showed my true colors when I called her a bitter old lady. So all the time I catered to her needs, gave her money and whatever else doesn’t mean shit? People please look at everything before you say something.

I love lightskin women. Lightskin Black. Mixed, Hispanic, you name it, I’m there. Well I have to worst luck with them. I have never done this is a blog before but I am going to name names and give real brief ideas about what happened. Let’s start with the one that is on here Danielle. She was never really serious about us. She would always find other things to do and now she won’t come back, on that same bullshit. Christina granted she lived about 2 hours away but nothing really went down. Then she got this boyfriend who is a fucking joke. She’s like 23 he’s 22. He would be lucky to get a job at the Gap in the mall and now she’s pregnant by him. Valerie that lived in Vegas was good on messenger and on the phone but in person she treated you like you wasn’t even there. No consideration. She told me she would never consider moving then 2 years later she moves to Atlanta with some nigga and just had a baby. Linda, well I really didn’t like Linda outside of the bed room. She was about 6 or 7 years older. Well she is getting married to some old ass guy. She told me he was not that passionate but I guess you have to take what you can get. Kara, she wanted to have one of those hardcore fights and make up relationships. Too much drama. Well she is pregnant and getting married to a white guy. Nothing wrong with that. Quenesha came to see me. We had a great 3 days. We had talks of one of us moving to the other’s home town and everything. A week after she got home an ex came back and that was all she wrote for Omar. Tiffany, who was light than I thought, we cool. Great phone calls, good first date, the whole nine yards. She came to the house; we smoked and drank all night. The next morning we fooled around a little, I thought everything was good. Well she basically said that night I paid too much attention to her. I smothered her so she lost interest. Anya, well she lived far away. You know live an hour away inside of the same area is hard than her living an hour down one highway. This list is getting long. I could go on for days. Now common sense would tell me “Omar maybe you need to switch the style up”. I can’t. I am weak for redbones. To tell the truth I show strength at times. When Kelly finally told me that she was real pregnant by someone else then left me, when she tried to come back, I shut that down. Jazzmin just wanted to move in because she is broke and has nowhere to go; well I shut that down too. This weakness goes back to high school. I remember being a senior in high school and sneaking to mess with this girl how had a boyfriend. I remember getting off the bus and walking an hour to this other girl’s house (that street was long). What am I to do? I have been telling myself that I will not let the next one go. I will do everything under the sun to keep her. However I will not get just anyone. I am in a pickle, I will tell you.