What do you do when you feel like your life has been ripped out of you? When you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on. How do you cure such a pain that you can't exactly explain? When you lose a life you can't bring that piece of your life back. You feel useless, hopeless-like it was your fault. There is nothing you can do. You have to let nature take the course it has chosen to take. In the meantime, you feel like you did it, it was/is your fault. What do you do? What can you do? What should you do? You want to beat yourself up over it, but it just makes you feel so much worse. You tell yourself there's nothing you can do but that uselessness feeling comes back. You lose apart of you that you can't gain back. A new transition that you have to start but you feel like a part of you is missing. That you can't make that transition with that piece missing. I want to try again-but I have a very large fear. I don't want to go through this again. It would only be harder. But, I want that piece back in my life. I need that piece. I am incomplete without that piece. I want to try again. I can't go on with my life without that piece. I need that piece. I will try again-but I only pray to every god that I don't experience this again, ever. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.
I want my baby back.