In my spare time, I'm the drum programmer and keyboard player for a gothic-industrial band out of Jacksonville, FL. My dayjob is horrible and boring and I choose to talk about it as little as possible, so you'll have to ask me if you really want to know what it is I do all day for money.

I'm 31 years old, fat, sarcastic, a smoker (of various things), and kind of a jerk. Most people really like me at first because I'm interesting and funny, but I have very few real friends because I'm generally pretty apathetic to what's happening around me at any given moment and instead concentrating on being interesting and funny.

I've been in my current relationship for 12 years now and everyone wonders how someone like me managed to snag the model girlfriend I have. I'd tell them, but no one has managed to work up the guts to ask, so instead they just wonder and talk about it behind my back and I'm quite happy to let them.