whoever may be reading my blog knows that I have been trying to stop smokin weed and drinking...i jus finished the first step...and i relapsed december...i smoked and drank...but my issue is now the drinking...drinkin has never been a problem for me but now that i have been trying to stop...it seems to make me wanna drink even more...i feel like drinkin sometimes...i'm not a big drinker but i wanna fuckin drink...and i don't see anything wrong with an occassional drink...i been going to NA meetings and i feel like i should be able to drink...seeing that alcohol is not my drug of choice...this shit is giving me headaches thinkin about it and i jus want to stop smoking weed and i'm not understanding why i have to give up alcohol too...yeah i know i need to talk to my sponser but i already know what she gonna say...and i don't really want to hear it...the other day we met at her house and i broke up all my paraphanelia and shit as my final surrender...so thats all thats be going on but i know i'm an addict and its probably my addiction talking to me...but i jus want to fucking drink...if anyone has any comments or advice let me know it will be greatly appreciated.
