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What are you waiting for?
I have been dreaming about you for quite a while now. Dreams where you and I, are good friends again, and I pretend that everything is okay between us, when really, I can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be talking to you and that if I keep hanging out with you, I'm going to go back to that version of myself that I hate so much now. So when I wake up, and slowly realize that this was just a dream, I can't feel anything but relief. You were my best, you had me in the palm of your hand, because for some reason you were the one to show me that I could exist outside of this lonely, dark, awkward character. I thought it was all because of you. You made me feel good, and wanted. I wanted and needed it to stay that way. Yes you managed to touch me, when I was untouchable, unreachable, and I opened up to you.But the moment I really needed you, you were already trying to win someone else over. From that point on, I was back to being, the wounded, awkward one, that made you look good , and confident around other guys. You used me. My name looked good in your list of friends , you didn't want me gone, but you didn't want me around either, you just wanted me to stay put. What I want you to know now, is that I see right throught you. You are the worst guy anyone could ever had, because you make people love you, you make them trust you, but you only ever care about what your life looks like, and you will abandon anyone that doesn't fit in this picture you have in your mind. So when I said that I don't hate you, that we go on seperate ways, and that I wish you the best, please know that I don't.
Many times we wish and wish for the right person to come into our lives. We don’t seem to understand why it’s not working out with others. We end up in toxic, unloving relationships, and deep down know something better is out there.
The challenge is, when something better does come along, to not run away.
After years of disappointment, heart break and unhappy endings, it can be very easy to close down on real love. No matter what, don’t’ let that happen!
Remember, strength in the muscles of your body is created by your muscles being ripped apart, and then rebuilt. Your heart and your emotional intelligence and fitness operate the same way. It is easy to close down after you’ve been hurt. It’s easy to throw a wrench into real love when it comes. I understand it’s scary, but WHO CARES
Move forward in spite of your fear. Move forward INTO the scariness of it all. Be courageous. Don’t let fear win. OPEN UP anyway. The risk of not opening, in the end, is far worse than the risk of opening.
Don’t let love pass you by. Don’t let fear win.
NO! Instead, let love win. Open up, even when, you are afraid. Open up, even when you are scared of getting hurt. Open up, even when you don’t know what’s going to happen.
LOVE WILL PASS YOU BY if you always choose the safe path.
I am not suggesting that you open up to the first person who comes along. No. I am not suggesting that at all. I am suggesting that when you have a connection with someone, when you feel it, when you are so scared of how much you feel it, go in the opposite direction of your fear. Do not be afraid of the love you feel.
The right person will meet you. The right person will show up. But they can’t if you don’t open.
Learn to value openness and rebuilding your heart more than safety. Don’t let the wounds of the past create a wounded future. No. It can be different. Love can be yours. But first you must be open to it. Learn how to be more loving from your past pain, not how to be more closed.
Don’t give up on love, no, give IN TO love!
Love,
Heaven
