Leland's blog: "Don't be Afraid"

Halloween is the time of the year when we’re given permission to let our dark side come out and play. For one night, you can be whoever you want with no fear of judgment, because it’s just a costume and the crazier the better, right? So what does your costume tell the world about the secret desires you’ve been keeping pent up inside you all year? Or more important, what message is your date’s costume sending? Based on the premise that your Halloween costume reveals the parts of your personality you normally suppress, here’s our analysis of some popular costume choices for both men and women and what they tell others about your inner self. Here’s your guide to costume decoding. Men in Drag – First, let's make one thing clear. It takes deep personal motivation for a man to dress up as a woman for Halloween. No one does it "just because". Here are a few possibilities: You may be feeling trapped or limited by your masculine identity and want to experiment with "being a girl". You may be a secret cross dresser and this is the one time of the year when you can get away with doing it in public. You may secretly desire to be attractive to other men and want to be able to play out that fantasy. Catholic School Girl – You like people to think that you’re innocent and a goody-two-shoes, but you have a hidden naughty side. You may have had a strict upbringing, leads you to get off on being “disciplined”. Or you may just have a daddy thing. French Maid – Even if you’re a feminist the rest of the year, if you dress up in a frilly maid outfit, you may you have a secret desire to play a submissive role, at least for one night. Your sexuality is playful and subversive, but you normally keep it under wraps. You may have fantasies of being subservient and catering to a man’s every whim. Prostitute/Slut – You don’t normally get to express your sexual side because it doesn’t feel safe or is incompatible with the image you project most of the time. You might enjoy it if your partner was a bit rougher or called you names in bed. You have unacknowledged sexual appetites, and you enjoy the sense of power over men that sex gives you. Caveman/Cavewoman – You want to get in touch with your primal self and animalistic sexuality. You are fed up with society’s rules for dating and relationship behavior and want to go back to a simpler time, when “Me Tarzan, you Jane,” was the only conversation a couple needed to have. Robot – You’re not really comfortable with your emotions, your sexuality, or human contact in general. You may think of sex as messy and inconvenient and just want the whole issue to go away. Nun/Priest – You have some inner conflicts about your sexuality. You’re rebelling against your own sexual hang ups but you’re not able to let go entirely. You feel like you should be saving yourself for something better. Flasher – You have repressed exhibitionistic urges and may have a desire to shock people. You secretly crave attention but aren't getting enough of it. You may also be well endowed and feel that not enough people know about it. Pirate – You like to think of yourself as a rebel – a bad boy or bad girl. You want to be reckless, passionate, and seek out dangerous situations. You’d like to be able to party hard, plunder, pillage, and have your way with the ladies or men without worrying about the consequences. Harry Potter/Hermione – If you are a grown guy who dresses up like Harry Potter, or Ronald Weasley, you are probably bright but shy and not very emotionally mature or experienced with women. If you are a woman and you dress up like Hermione, see the entry for Catholic Schoolgirl. Prince/Princess – If you dress up like a medieval prince, princess, or knight, and look like you’re going to a Renaissance Faire, you have a very romanticized ideal of love and sex. You probably have a very active fantasy life, but are not very successful at getting actual dates, especially if you play Dungeons & Dragons. Naughty Nurse – You are generous with your sexuality and consider it a form of “sexual healing.” At the same time, you like to be in control of a sexual situation. You prefer a passive partner who just lies there while you do all the work. Pimp – Guys who dress up like pimps are often masking insecurities about their masculinity or sexuality. They want other people to see them as a player with wealth, power, and command over women, when in fact they are weak, ineffectual, or simply shy. Vampire/Goth – Your sexuality has an intense and mysterious side. You have a dark and predatory side that you don’t usually show. You may feel that sex is mystical and desire a transcendental union with your partner.

Often we think that we know what we want in life. Usually it has something to do with a nice comfy living that includes a mate (or for some of us mates), a place of living that is comfortable and to be stess free. I think that I could say that I have a fair amount of that. I have set some goals. But what seems to be a reocurring issuse is my choice in interpersonal relationships. Now I am not talking about someone who I am screwing, fucking or making love (cause you all know that there is a difference in all three). But I am talking about just the interaction that we have have with people on a daily basis. Seemingly I am caught in a parallel state when dealing with humans. I try to treat them the way that I want to be treated (which in itself is selfish and self gratifying). But sometimes people to include myself just do not fit into the life that you are really working for. And the roles that they serve change. But is this wrong...I mean am I a bad person just because my life has taken a course that no longer includes them on that level? People are in your life for a season...one that is predetermined before you have even met. So when that season is over do we mourn what we have no control over?

Don’t Be Afraid Yes baby, I know it's late and if you want me to leave, just say so. The beating of your heart inside you chest says no, and your voice still has yet to say go, so I want you to let it flow. Don't be afraid. No baby, I have no intentions of hurting your or breaking your heart, I wouldn't be here if you didn't know that from the start. Now let down your hair, let those braids fall apart. Don't be afraid. Yes baby, I think you're sexy, even if all I had was your body next to me I could never consider myself vexed see? Now play that Rod Stewart, yeah, If You Think I’m Sexy. Don't be afraid. No, I want to undress you slow, I want to see everything on your from your forehead to your toe, and leave the lights on. Don't be afraid. Yes, I know the ice feels good with my tongue, I can hear the breath filling up your lungs, ignore the telephone that just rung this is your night, let your song be sung. Don't be afraid. No, I didn't know you were that wet, but I wonder how far along it can get, if I let my tongue swim around in it. Don't be afraid. Yes, I have done this before, I promise you'll be screaming for more, I know what a tongue is for, where you want to do it, standing up, or laying on the bed or floor? Don't be afraid. No, I didn't know that you shaved, but I knew that you misbehaved, have you ever had a slave? Or have you ever role played? Don't be afraid. Yes baby, take off your bra. Wait let me pick up my jaw, oh look double D's can I suck them baby please? Okay, I'll do it on my knees. I'm glad you're not afraid. No baby, I won't hesitate, look me in my handsome face, as I go down for a taste of your very special place. I'm glad you're not afraid. Yes, I love the way you taste, I promise not one drop will waste, what; you want to ride my face? I'm glad you're not afraid. No, you're not heavy at all and I'll never let you fall, there was no need for you to pause. Don't be afraid. Yes, one of my tricks is humming, and I know that you are cumin; its taste reminds me of something. Isn't that funny, oh I got it, its honey! I'm glad you're not afraid. Ooooh baby, what you're doing there? Hell no baby, I'm not scared, put it in your mouth baby, do that there! I'm not afraid. Damn baby, this is fine Oh I love to 69; you want me to cum in your mouth and you in mine? I'm not afraid. Yes baby, you are driving me out of my mind, you're cumin too? Well fuck it at the same time. I'm not afraid. What baby, now you want me inside, cool, but it's my turn to ride, brace your legs on my shoulders girl, sure I'll hold you’re tightly as I glide. I'm not afraid. Damn baby, you're soaking wet and I get harder as we sex, you want me to make your legs stretch? I'm not afraid Huh baby, now you want it from the back, pull hair and give your ass a smack, call you a bitch I didn't know you liked it like that. I knew you weren't afraid. Yes, I feel the same, I love it when you scream my name, and this is how sparks turn into flames. I knew you weren't afraid. No, I don't mind to continue, you're looking in mirror too? You want me to cum in you? Yes I want to be with you. I knew you weren't afraid. Yes baby, I hope this night never ends, yes we can be more than friends, you're still horny, let do this again. I knew you weren't afraid.