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Crazysane's blog: "Disclaimer"

created on 09/14/2006  |  http://fubar.com/disclaimer/b1617

Disclaimer

Disclaimer: This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cats; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; @copy; Copyright (C) 2007, 2007 Crazysane; all rights reserved; this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make profit from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial publications, or as part of any fee-based services or products; further redistributions only allowed unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer (anonymous FTP, Gopher, WWW, Mail servers, and IRC), storage media, and printed copy as long as this notice is included and no monetary fee is charged; warez list subject to change without notice; text is slightly unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapeƱos added to mp3 list upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; music is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity warez employer; no shoes, no shirt, no warez files; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; warez list may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental guidance is suggested; explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; warez contain small parts which could break off and choke children under the age of 3; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our guns-for-warez trade-in plan; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; warez were packed full; contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection; do not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; call before you dig; use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; warez contents under pressure; may explode if incinerated; smoking these files may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of good protection; text is made from 100 percent recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test these warez; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a warez operator; warez are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; warez offer is valid only at participating internet sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery if your using dialup; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized warez service center; please remain seated until the warez have come to a complete stop; warez in the mirror may be closer than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or beer coming from out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. Above all else; If something offends you, Lighten up, Get a life, and Move On!!!!!! Thank you for your time it took to read this and if you truly enjoyed these words of wisdom please stop by my page, Rate me, Fan me, Make me a friend, Rate and comment my pictures and leave a profile comment. All these things do in fact help both you and I. So chat with you all soon and HAVE FUN. In case you were not aware; FUBAR = Fucked Up But All Right!!!!!!!!
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