FvckingCannibal's blog: "Hardest Conversation of my life"

UPDATE! Well today at was Dingo's last day with his family, it was celebrated with a neighborhood walk and loads of Beggin Strips (i skipped the M&M's)took a pic of the kids with him on our walk and Adam got to hold his leash for the 1st time. I was a sobbing idiot, and my darling son the Rock of Gibralter..with insight that surpasses his age 5 fold. He says "Mommy, you can cry, but cry because you are happy he won't be sick anymore, and he will look like he did before x-mas, and if there is a doggy heaven , then he can play with Terra." WTF? coming out of my 6 yr. olds mouth. So we got back home and Adam said a tearful good bye to Dingo, and Becca finally broke down and cried and they hugged him good bye. I took him to the Vet cried the whole way while he coughed with his happy wind blown face out the back window. When we arrived at the Vet, they took us right in the room and brought the massive relaxer cocktail shot in and as he ate the rest of the Beggin Strips, I sat with him on the floor and cried and hugged and pet him as he got groggier, but his tail was still wagging for a bit. He slipped into a peaceful slumber with his head on my leg and me stroking his face telling him what a good boy he is. He went limp with shallow breathes as I said my final good bye and kissed his forehead. Upon leaving, the Vet did not charge me for putting him down. I am doing well now, knowing it is over..I thought I owed y'all a follow up..Thank you for all your warm comments and hugs :) About a month ago, my dog Dingo got very sick. His belly distended and he started coughing, I took him to the Vet. The Dr. tested him for heartworm, it was negative and after the complete exam, had some awful news. He recommended that I put him down, he is an older dog (9) and unless I wanted to spend $1k on testing, that would only confirm what was exactly was wrong and then treatments if there were any would be costly and would only make him more comfortable. I was devastated and started balling in the office. With one last plead I asked what about that bacteria/parasite that forms in dogs intestines. The Dr. said well if it is then a heavy dose of antibiotics will kill it and I should see results in 1-3 days. Well went through the 1st round of antibiotics, it seemed to help some his belly decreased by 7”..so they gave me more antibiotics and nothing. Last night his coughing was horrible, I felt awful. This morning all around the house was bloody phlegm and that is when I decided I would take him tomorrow to be put down. Well I did a MUMM about how or when I should tell my children 6 son, 3 daughter..and the overwhelming response was tell them before. So after dinner tonight I sat them down with tears in my eyes and explained that I was taking Dingo to the Dr. tomorrow and he would not be coming home. He was very ill, they saw the blood and new he was not doing well. My son’s eye welled up and he sobbed as Dingo was nudging him and licking him, (damn it I am crying now typing this) this was the worst conversation I have ever had to have. So I asked Adam (6), if he wanted to take some time alone, and he went to his room and sobbed. I went in and explained how it was best for Dingo, because he will go to doggy heaven and see his sister Terra (who died suddenly this summer) and will not cough or have a hard time breathing. He wanted me to take him to the hospital, I had to explain that they can’t fix what is wrong with him, that the bloody stuff he coughed up came from his lungs and his belly is so big because his liver & kidneys are not working right. Then he said “mommy I understand, but he won’t go to doggy heaven”, “he is just going to be a skeleton and he won’t see Terra. I should have known that my son would rebut. So I then had to go on about yes his body will be here but his soul will be with Terra and all the other dogs. Thank god for Harry Potter, because I had to explain what a soul was, and I referred to the Dementors and sucking souls. Becca (3)just said mommy Dingo is going to die, like Terra did. And I said well yes, and she said she will miss him. (boy she was easy). It has been about an hour now since I told them, and Adam is sitting with Dingo on the floor just hanging out petting him, it is breaking my heart to see this. I hope tomorrow will not be devastating, but I think it will. I am going to go early. And take some M&M’s for Dingo to eat as he falls asleep. Tomorrow will be very difficult for me… As a side note, Dingo was a adopted from the shelter in Los Angeles March 1, 1999 with his sister Terra. There was a Pit Bull scare, and the shelters were full of Pits so that is where I went to adopt them. It is not the breed, but the Master’s. Staffordshire Terriers are wonderful family dogs when raised in a loving home. Dingo is a fantastic dog, he is loving and never ever showed his teeth or growled at any of the family members. However, about 6 years ago, someone was attempting to enter our yard and he hit the fence all pearly whites showing and viciously ready to protect his home. The guy took off running, and wouldn’t surprise me if he wet his pants.