I have been in the worst mood today. This is the most depressed I have felt in a while. I have never felt more alone in my whole life. I dont have very many friends at all. And the friends I do have they have their own life to worry about. So they dont need me in their way. I feel like everyone and everything I love his gone. I dont know what do you with my life anymore. I have this baby growing inside me and I love it and I cant wait for him or her to get here. But I sit and I think why in this world did God give me this precious little gift...for me to raise up in my fucked life. Im scared Im not going to be able to give my baby everything it needs. I already took away the one thing that every little kid should have... and thats a family of their own. Yes, he or she has a dad but I know he wont be their for it all the time and he will walk in and out of its life as he pleases. I choose not be with the dad because he didnt treat me good when we were together...and I dont want to be with someone that cant love me the way that I should be loved. So therefore I will have to do my best and give my child all the love that I have to give and hope and pray that someday I can give them the family that they should have. I have asked God to send me a miracle or just send me in the right path. Let someone enter my life that will be good to me and my baby. But I get so down and upset that I just want to give up all hope. But I know that for the sake of my child I cant.... I have to be a stronger person for my baby and for myself. I will make it some way, some how.
