Christopher C Miller's blog: "Depressed Christopher"

Today I learned that someone or something out there in the universe is determined to make sure I never know true happiness for any longer then a brief micro-second. I said I was happy Monday and today I learned that one of my best friends died. So, this always happens. Every time I think things start going my way something bad happens. So I ask you, what the bloody point of it all? This only proves that my dreams will remain unfulfilled and any chance of happiness will always allude me. So what is the point?

I had to delete my lounge because nobody joined it. It was costing me 250 fubucks a week to keep it up for nothing. Plus it cost me 500 fubucks to create it in the first place, so that's 1,000 fubucks I won't be seeing again. Thank you so much for being such caring friends who find me "attractive" for making me waste my money and time. Why I don't just end it all is beyond me, it's clear by how many people who want to have sex with me that I have nothing to live for and the sweet kiss of death is preferable of the harsh stings of your lies. Action speaks louder then words, your words tell lies while your actions speak volumes. I haven't met one woman since I joined this place way back when it was Cherrytap and looks like I never will. The next thing you read with my name attached to may be my obituary.

My life is spinning into a bottomless abyss of failure and loneliness and there isn't anything I can do to stop it. No matter how hard I try to get a woman or a career, the faster I seem to fail. Makes me wonder what the point of life if all there is failure after failure. That's no gold at the end of the rainbow, that's there's no light at the end of the tunnel. If something good don't happen soon I fear I don't know what will happen to me or what I might do just to stop the endless pain in my life. The endless assault of failure. If anyone has any suggestions that might help and don't just say "it'll happen." Because from my vantage point my ship will never come in because it already struck an ice berg and Leonardo DiCaprio is holding onto a piece of driftwood freezing. So any other suggestions other then that will be listened too. Of course one you saying you'd meet with me to talk might help, but I know that's not going to happen either. Waiting for death.