Katt's blog: "Deep Thoughts...."

Waiting just to feel again Waiting just to dream Waiting to be noticed Without making a scene Dont care what the feeling is, Just to feel again Remenising on the ways I "use to feel back then" Everything is numb now No emotions left Wondering if i'll feel again Before i reach my death Cold is crawling slowly Breathing down my spine Soon i'll reach my demise I dont have that much time Wanting it so badly Wishing on the sky No emotions ever Makes me wonder why Why i hurt so badly That i forget to feel Seems like i was dreaming I know that it was real Knowing what we were And what we've come to be Longing to bring that life back Will you come back to me? I know that it cant happen Now that you are gone So here i'm stuck emotionless Feeling... all alone!

*This is one of my FAVE songs... and the wording is so personal it's amazing!!!* "Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek" I try to stay on top of you To hold your body down Your shaking seems to hinder Every grasp that I have found Moving every inch around me To defuse your private bomb I stretch myself surrounding And protecting you from harm I use a wallet for your mouth So when you bite you will not bleed I drilled a wire through my cheek And let it down and out my sleeve And now you're pulling out the best of me Yeah which never ever comes This wires all thats left of me And its hooked within my gums Within my gums... So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] Its proof to show that I bleed for this And I'd cut myself the shame To get to know this masochist Who has stolen my first name Pretending he's a teacher Holding all my weight at ease Yet the teacher seems to split in two Destroying both his knees Now crawling I position myself Below your broken wings I lift your feathered left arm Where you hide your heart from me I never noticed it was swollen With the touch of brutal pain I never knew a heart could live inside The rust from all your rain All your rain... So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] I didnt think to bring a wash cloth And rub away the dirt Myself and I we share This barely beating heart of hurt And when the hurt comes theres an argument, A fight to save a smile A small attack on human tears To dry them for a while A dream we all should count on ; Yeah a vision I believe Where confidence is found Attached to wires on our sleeve Where loneliness is history Told to pack his shit and leave Where guidance is a fortune Told to help in time of need And were crying isn't secret It's the art of how we grieve And lessons are the key To every goal I will achieve I will achieve So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk screaming] So drill it, so drill it So hard Feel it [Kirk sreaming]

The vampire rises from deep, dark sleep Stretching undead limbs Moving on the earth again Paying for his sins Live a death in loneliness Heart that never beats Ducking into shadows Walking night-time streets Killing innocent people Just to get a meal The hunger is unfaded So many souls to steal Always so much pain Runnin thru my head What the hell was i thinkin When i became undead Smell the fear inside them The taste of salty skin Hear the sound of horror Feel the evil within Spreading all the hatred Drain them two by two Next time i get hungry I might just come for you!

Doin all this shit again After all these years What the hell is wrong with me? I bring myself to tears Bein homeless all over again Why's it happen to me? Everytime i get settled in I get told to leave Gettin darker, gettin cold, Where am i to go? Always end up on the street Mother and child without a home Once i hit the bottom And think i can fall no more I slowly start to stand up And fall back to the floor Why my stance is shakey I can never plant my feet firm You'd think that after all these years There's something i could learn Next time i'll think different Next time i'll be smart Now's the time to change things God, where do i start???

Looking at the moon tonight it's so beautiful! At first glance you only see the thumbnail sliver, but when you look closer you can see the whole moon, the shadow from the earth is so light that the whole orb is visible. When i begin to think about it I start to compare my life to the moon, being that the mask I wear covers most of who i am, but when you really observe me close enough you can see that i wear my emotions on my sleeve! I try to hide behind the shadow that i use as a shield but it's barely enough to cover my thoughts unless you really look.....