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observations

Have you ever delved into yourself to find out what makes you, you? What I’m talkingabout are the little things, those tiny idiosyncrasies that you do all by yourself, or whenyou think no one is watching. I went to the napkin because the receipt was pissing me off.What sadistic bastard would play this song ever ( 15 by Taylor Swift). You know a lot ofpeople would think sitting in a bar by yourself is depressing even sad, this is incorrect,sitting at a bar by yourself warrants a glimpse into your fellow bar patron’s soul. Boozelowers inhibitions, and with these new lowered inhibitions people say things, do things,and act a certain way that’s a glimpse into the true person in which you are observing. Donot be afraid of what you see, just make your decisions the way you choose because withomnipotence comes the ability to plan for everything all at once, you cannot do this, don’ttry. Just remember that a man much wiser than myself once said “to thy self be true” ifyou do not feel comfortable to expose your true self, without ridicule or torture, to theperson you have chosen to share your uniqueness, then they are not for you and should bejudged accordingly. Now for the person on the edge of that cruel guillotine, Do NotPanic, no matter how much it hurts, or makes you realize exactly how much you love thatperson, this is a positive, this liberates you and your partner to bloom the way you choose.Love is not calculated, it’s not a checklist, it’s a New York City mugging, it hit’s hard,fast and out of nowhere but it’s what you do with that love, this man has been hit by thelove truck and it did not even stop. So my advice actually comes for Dr. Hunter S.Thompson (1937-2005) “Buy the ticket, take the ride” because it’s your life, live it at thefullest, no one can live your life for you, and if you let them, than that’s on you. Anothergem of wisdom that I have learned, in my generation our collective’s biggest fear is beingalone, it’s ok to be single, do not be afraid of being alone. Now this may be a hugeadjustment to some, your faithful writer included being in relationships for the pastfifteen years, it’s ok to find your independence. Follow whatever organ you subscribe toyour brain, your heart, or even your gut, if it feels wrong than it probably is. Do what youdo. The most though live your life, do not let ANYONE dictate how you do your thing.Love thy self, because if you do not no one else can love you either, and if you truly loveyourself than it’s only a matter of time of time, a matter of time until someone loves youas much as you do, if not more so. Now your job is to figure out what you’re going to dowith those feelings that they gave and your own feelings on the situation, but above allBE HONEST, dragging people isn’t poetic, it just causes contempt in the hearts of bothparties. If you love each other but realize you are not meant to be, you can still love eachother, by seeing each other happy, and if you can not then maybe you should reevaluateyour feelings. I mean for god sake if you are not over your current or your ex then do notgo to they’re wedding, be grown up if your not ready, then your are not ready actaccordingly. Be happy for someone you love to love somebody else, the true test is to letgo and still be civil, no matter what situation ended your relationship, you love each otheron sum level, show it hope for the best for your failed partner, hope and encouragethey’re happiness. I’m sorry but if you love someone then who are you to impededhappiness, you selfish creature. So love yourself, love your ex’s because they helpedmake you who you are, and for your ex’s pray for happiness because that’s why we arehere, to make yourself, and your children happy, and do not worry about everyone else,they will manage. With nothing but love and respect.

gonzo journalism

I received a call from my cohort in crime, a large man with a shaved head and a kilt, wewanted to go out and see what Oklahoma City had to offer, and what we found was farfrom what we were expecting, in places where decadence should be had, all we foundwas empty souls everywhere we went. The seedy underbelly of Oklahoma City, in thestrip clubs, seeing the drugs and desperation, trying to figure out who’s more desperate,you for going to such a establishment, or them for recognizing you because at one point inyour existence you were nice to this person, and sweet Jesus I get that a lot. Thedesperation of a nation can be seen here, from the dancers themselves who have to havetwo or more jobs to provide for their children to the guys who come in with their buttonup shirts and fancy neck ties just outwardly showing that they have a little more moneythen the weirdo wearing a Scully cap and beach shoes, but at what cost, people have beentrained to see a tie as a point of distinction, well I find them half right, I see a tie as aprimitive control collar that as long as you have it on you may continue to suckle at thegreat teat of corporations, these poor bastards, they look “professional” but when youlook into they’re eyes you feel as is something was lost, something that cannot be gottenback by simply removing the noose that controls their everyday life, and something I fearwill never return to these poor automatons. So on this cool night in Oklahoma City I findmy heart going out to the people I’ve met from dancers to business men. I wish the best ofluck for their children.

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