In America we live in fear of death, thinking that we should never even think of such events happening in our life, and when it happens we don't look close enough at what the corporations are doing to us. Let's take a look at what awaits everyone down the road of life.
In the 1900's American families had a very special room in their house used only for very special occasions. The room was called the 'parlor'. It was also the place where, if someone had died, the family would place the body of their loved one. They would lay him out and clean him up, giving him enough time to alert people if he wasn't really dead. This brought death into a natural light, people accepted it for what it was.
Then, in 1910, fashion magazines deemed it a gross and (even worse) old tradition. The American public jumped on the bandwagon and turned their 'parlors' into 'living rooms'. Isn't that a huge 'fuck you' to the dead? The living room was a place to relax, and the tradition of taking care of your own dead fell out of the household. It was thrust into the hands of funeral homes.
Right now in America, the average funeral costs $10,000 because of this industry. Not to mention that the funeral business takes in $25,000,000,000 a YEAR! How? They rip off nearly every family!
You see, they know we make bad decisions when we're emotional (just like when we're horny) and exploit it. Let's look at the three biggest procedures that could be chosen for our loved ones.
Let's start with Cremation. This procedure requires the body to be burned and placed into a container for the grieving. The problem with this is that laws require the body to be in a container before it's burned up. So you're paying to burn up a useless container along with a body. The container can start at $55 (cardboard) and go up to $1,400 (wood). Not to mention that the cremators are usally paid minimum wage and that there is no possible way to see if you are getting the actual ashes of your loved one.
Now for the biggest choice in the world. Burial. Funeral homes offer a wide range of caskets, targeted towards the grieving family. It's horribly unfair to ask someone if they'd like the 'Standard' or the 'Eternal Love' casket. Not to mention that these caskets are almost always marked up by at least 30 percent. Another horrible item that they sell (besides containers for trinkets in coffins, paintings in coffins, thicker pillows/cushions in coffins) are gasket valves. This is how they sell them:
The gasket valve keeps all moisture out of the coffin, the seal ensures that the body is never exposed to outside elements. True, but what does it hold in? See, when we decompose we let off gasses (I know, you see where this is going already) and these gasses cannot escape. Our body decomposes and what was once our arms and legs become a thick slime. Finally the pressure builds up so much that the gas makes the casket explode like a champagne bottle. Is this worth the extra $350?
Finally, the big one. Are you afraid of death? Want to come back to life at a later date? Fine, we have Cryonics! The procedure is simple. You die, they freeze you, then thaw you at a later date. The problem? We have alot of proteins in us. When degeneration of protein sets in we get ice crystals in our protein to save it a bit longer (only if we undergo Cryonics) from complete destruction. When we're thawed, that protein liquifies and we become a thick mush. No chance of regeneration, just 'you soup'. The cost? $130,000-$150,000.....A YEAR!
So if you truly want to have a great funeral remember that the funeral is for the grieving. Don't ask too much of them, let them grieve in the way that makes them feel better. Ask that the money that could be spent on flowers or other unnecessary items go to your loved ones or a charity. Ask that the coffin be cheap, since you won't feel it anyway. Infact, plan ahead before you die. Go shopping and compare prices, leave a web address to a cheap yet sturdy coffin. Or if you're planning for someone else, bring along an unemotional third party to help you select a coffin.
The things you do with the one you love while they are alive matter so much more than what you buy them when they die. Hell, if you're lucky enough call your parents. If you can't call them, call your lover or friend over. Tell them that you love them, make them a snack, kiss them, hug them, or just talk with them. This will mean much more to them than any high priced coffin or urn. Remember that love is the best gift you can give, and that after death, material possesions don't mean shit.
So go ahead, pick up that phone. Give them a call.
