the other day as i was fussing with my hair (something i do quite frequently considering my cosmotology training) i noticed a slightly off tone shimmer amoung my level 5Rv permenate hair color.... apon further examination of this phanaminon (and a few minutes of calcualted picking through various strands) i discovered the horrifing evidence of my slow but sure decent into old foogie-hood.... my very first gray hair. now granted its just one gray hair... right? its not a big deal. im 22 its normal... nothing to be stressed about. i still have a good, oh i'd say, 40...maybe 45 years...left...may..be...? if i take my vitamines and work out manage to quit drinking and smoking *sarcastic cough* maybe wear my seat belt more often and avoid falling into a meat grinder... i should make it that long. oddly enough, as much as i hate to admite this, i feel like my life is on a ticking clock... and there are so many things that with in the next 8 years i have to complete... after all when your young we are all wreckless and wild with a sence of invensablity and no consept of urgency so to speak. never paying to much attention to the future and thusly wasting valueble time to accomplish certain investments to enable us to have an early retirement lol. most of us have one major goal in childhood and adulesence and that is to get the fuck out of school. i remember being 12 and thinking "god i cant wait till i am 16! just 4 more years and i can drive!" and then at 16 i can remeber thinking "god i cant wait till i am 18! just 2 more years and i can buy porn and cigs!" and then when i made it to 18 it was "god i cant wait to be 21! just 3 more years and i can go in a bar and get my drink on!" now im 22 and im already thinking "god damn! why cant i be 16 again?" i feel like i'm on this 'dead' line. i have to get out of college, start a carrer, establish some kind of credit (or fix what i have LOL) watch my child grow up, tie down a life mate, maybe get married...buy a house, learn what the hell a 401k plan is, have another kid... and all those other little rediculous milestones that 'should' take place in an adult womens life, least they turn into scarey old cat ladies. when is it that most ppl get married and have kids any way? late 20s early 30s? well the fact of the matter is in that one gray hair i started to see all the things in my life that i have done, and that i need to do. or maybe i am expected to do by common social standards. and i am in a bit of a panic. i thought when i had my daughter i went through the whole 'facing your oun mortality' crap... and if i am this worked up about ONE GRAY HAIR, i just might need sunny to bring over a box of tissues, a cork screw and a strightjacket when i discover my first wrinkle... which i have ample reason to beleive is begining to etch its way out from the lower corner of my left eye.... le sigh.
