oceanbreeze's blog: "dark parking lots where shopping carts go uncollected...."

- so i wish i could remember everything that happened on march 27, 

i was out with my friend celebrating my 22 birthday. it was a great night.. greatfuldeads all night... shitfaced ... i was walking towards my car, i was basically beligerent so i obviously couldnt drive. my friend was calling a taxi and we were in the back of the brickhouse. its really dark parking lot. id say around 1130 so it was definately before last call. while we were waiting we were both talking loud and waiting for the taxi. a officer made an assumption that my friend was my boyfriend and that we were fighting, both of those assumptions were and are false. the officer then tapped me on the shoulder from behind, "to see if i was okay" and i just started to defend myself. immediately i was slammed against the hood of my car, and i couldnt hear that it was a cop because i wasnt listening, it didnt matter, the fact is a male who was 3 times my size touched me from behind and i promised before i moved back here that no one would ever hurt me physically nor mentally again! its so weird how i can survive in nc and cali, i come back to new hampshire and i get hurt now by the law. the officer had his fun, throwin me around. i dont remember much after the cop put me into the cruiser and instead of guiding me in he smacked my head against the cruiser door, leaving me with a straight cut on my forhead/hairline. i now have a 8,000 dollar hospital bill and a lot of pain in the back of my head and my neck.

i feel like something else happened, i dont remember much, at that point being very aggresive and saying really rude things, which i guess i had some sort of ptsd episode. the hospital didnt want to deal with me, they sedated me, although i was intoxicated and on two different types of medication that im prescribed to. the hospital cut off all my clothes, and stitched my head up, three hours later i got a ct scan, and there happened to be a metal earing in my ear. which made the ct scan not accurate. on the same side my face got all banged up from hitting off my car, i feel as if the cops and hospital are both fucking me over.

im just curious as to where my fucking panties went? its not normal procedure to throw them out from what im told. and if they had the time to throw out my panties and cut off my clothes wouldnt a person have time to take out the metal earing?

i was put on so many drugs in that hospital that i was supposed to wake up not remembering the night before, i had no idea where i was when i woke up some 8 hours later, throughout the day, i just wanted to have my purse which the cops had. i needed my phone to call someone because the police told everyone i was at county jail. i finally got a hold of my father who came and got me at like 4pm but i wasnt allowed to leave until 6pm.

there is so much to all of this that i know something is being hidden from me, and i just dont know what. three days later the cop calls and arrests me. he decided that he wanted to press charges against me, saying i assaulted him and that i resisted arrest.

so i went down and let him book me just so i could see if it was the same officer i had seen in a dream laughing in my face with glasses on and just so happens it was. i thought it was a nightmare but it had really bothered me. first thing i remember was that dream when i woke up at the hospital.

anyways scatter brained i am, the cop was booking me three days after and i was still all bruised up. my face was puffy for days. i looked like a total different person, i was the one that got assaulted and false arrest to begin with, the prosecuter calls me up and tells me the charges were dropped.

now im thinking that i didnt want them dropped. at first i was scared to face jail time, but now i feel like this whole thing was a set up and they charged me just so i wouldnt sew the police dept. or that cop. it just doesnt make sense.

i have been in so much pain and i have no insurance, the hospital had been negilent because of the way i was when they saw me drunk and bleeding from the head. i went back 5 days later to get the stitches out but more importantly i got a really bad infection from the IV that was stuck in my arm. i remember them giving me a shot in my stmache to prevent blood clots but i was really out of it. i was put on like really strong drugs, the hospital didnt clean me up i had blood all in my hair and dried to my face.

im so confused. i dont know what to do about this. should i let it go, and just be glad that im not going to jail, or is there anything i can do to fight this.

oh ...so i am driving to the ocean about a week after the charges were dropped, or the case just didnt exist. im told to step out of my car to look at why i was being pulled over. i was setup and a cop or somebody had pulled my license plate light down, it was still on and it was just hanging which it wasnt the night before because i had checked. anyways the cop immediately put me in handcuffs and in the back of the cruiser. i just started balling because my shoulder has been popping in and out and nerve damage in my hands from the incident that happened on march 27. i have never once been afraid of cops, i handled being pulled over very well in the past and have never been searched before. i have never felt so scared, i could disapear in a second if this was something personal. and thats what went through my head. 

they searched my vehicle asked me a bunch of questions. saying they smealt mary jane which i havent smoked since i have been back at home.it was legal for me in california with my canibus lisence it was also dank bud out there too. regardless they found nothing in my car, but i feel like theres something they did when they went into my car.

is it weird that the cop (that pressed charges on me) one day after i filed for the police report. the cop had parked right next to me, he knew my car. he even was behind me at barnes and noble.. i mean its plausible it was a coincidence for him to be at the same place, but he was well aware of parking next to me and that was just unnessasary.

i could seriously right a book, and i feel just better finally months later just getting this out because i really dont know anyone on here and i really just dont care anymore who knows because im sick of everything in my life being a secret. its free and i vented and i feel great.

TOMMORROW im calling a lawyer. not sure if its civil, police misconduct, medical malpractice, regardless i just want some answers.