“Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers.” Mary Tyler Moore
Relationships are the spice of life, but the spice of relationships is also bound to leave an unpleasant taste in your mouth once in awhile. Most everyone will experience a failed relationship before meeting the love of their life, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they’re able to learn from it rather than falling into the same patterns again and again. Find out if you’re guilty of any of these common relationship problems.
1. Emotionally-Unhealthy Individuals
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: To optimize the success of a happy and healthy relationship, each partner needs to be at their most complete as an individual. This means each person needs to be emotionally mature and available, have a strong sense of self and know what it is that each person wants from the other.
An emotionally-unhealthy individual will look at a relationship as a way to solve their own problems or as the thing in life that will make them feel complete. An emotionally-unhealthy individual may be too dependant because they’re too afraid to be alone and may settle for someone they know won’t make a good partner.
2. Moving Too Fast
In a world where instant gratification dominates, relationships often fail because of this exact reason – too many couples are in a rush to “make it work,” ignoring any waving red flags.
You end up putting too much faith in a relationship because you want to be in one so bad and you believe a relationship will fix all of your loneliness or feelings of being incomplete. Excitement about a new relationship is one thing, but forgetting that a relationship takes a lot of time to really grow is another.
There is no specific “stage” you should be in at a pre-determined time. It all depends on the couple.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Romantic fantasies, unhealthy individuals and putting too much hope into an already struggling relationship all describe this general common relationship problem theme – having unrealistic expectations.
Expecting that you can change any bad behaviors your partner has is unrealistic. Expecting your partner to feel the same way about everything is unrealistic. When your expectations don’t come to fruition, you place blame on the other for something that you should probably blame yourself for.
The only expectations you should have about a relationship is that you will be treated as well as you treat the other person and that you will gain friendship, love, respect and support from a healthy relationship. Expect to plan for the dynamics of a relationship changing over time due to human nature and external factors, but expect that love will survive if you work at it.
4. Money
Everyone has a different style of dealing with money. Some of you are frugal Franks while others are spendthrifts Susies. Money can be a huge root of contention in a relationship, especially in a marriage when the money is mutually shared.
Different money styles aren’t necessarily something that will hurt a relationship, but the lack of compromise or deception with money can.
Money also can represent a power struggle in a relationship and one of the partners may feel like their independence is being compromised.
