Well, more more time keeps passing and i find myself being that jealous ex boyfriend when I don't really try be. But as I sat there and told Amy how I felt while staring into her eyes while tears come from both of our blood shot eyes, I wonder if she even cared what i said or even heard a word I told her. Its hard to sit back and watch the one person in your life you care for and love just walk away from a relationship when I would like to sit there and hash out the problems. I can't help to wonder why she would not come to me instead of going to her parents. I sit here and wonder if its actually me let this relationship fail or if Amy felt bombarded with so much stress and grief that she felt it nessessary to break if off just cause I wasn't changing into what she wanted for the father figure to our daughter.I just wish she would of gave me the time to change some of my ways, and for her to be willing to work on the issue I would of like to see changed, and now that we aren't together and she hangs out with her new friend Joe from work , am i being replaced? Or is that just the uneasy feeling of knowing the one thing I asked for the most in the relationship is and always being ignored. I don't feel I should give up on her because I really love Amy, and I can't stand being away from her at all. We're susposed to be friends too but we have yet to do anything together, and I don't think we will till Amy is ready too, but Im willing to spend anytime with my daughter's mom because i love spending time with her. I often worry that she will find someone else, but I hope she don't cause I need her in my life cause she made me happy, and at one point she enjoyed being with me, but she became to consumed by everything else around her and I got the blunt end of it. I suggested for us to go to counciling but she won't because she thinks my odd would effect my ablilty to do anything a councilor would suggest us to do when the odd hasn't effected my life since I was a lil kid, and if i wasn't willing to go to counciling I would suggest it.
