Deceased January 24th 2016's blog: "Dad"

My chest is aching. My heart is breaking. The tears are falling endlessly. Things will never be the same since you've gone away and left me here all alone. I will never be that same cheerful, carefree girl who thought life and people could be fixed if you just cared enough and tried hard enough.This world is now empty without you here as is you little girl. Lost, scared, and alone wondering around aimlessly. Not sure where I belong anymore. Not sure if I am wanted or needed in this big empty place. You tell me be strong. Be the rock for the others. Don't break down. Don't give up hope. I'm just no longer sure my shoulders are big enough and strong enough to carry the weight of it all anymore. I have faced too many things with no one there by my side to help me keep going and my shoulders are too weak to hold anymore. Sometimes I just need someone to grab me up in their arms, hold me tightly, give me their shoulders to help carry so of the weight, and let the tears flow til no more will come. I love you Daddy and will do my best to do as you've asked and be strong for my baby sister who will not have you there to see her graduate, get married, have babies. I will try to smile through the tears and pretend everything is and will be alright but I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do so. Hiding the tears til late at night as everyone else sleeps and there is only my grandma and you to hold me tight and just let the tears and the pain erupt.