samistheman79's blog: "blog"

I got to watch my whole world come crumbling down around me. I stood alone in the aftermath wondering how I would rebuild my life out of the rubble that was left.

Things had been going very well for me for quite some time. I was the go to guy in my field at work. My coworkers and management all respected and liked me. Any time an unforseen problem needed an expedient solution, Sam was the man with the plan.

Every weekend I hosted incredible dinner parties and bar-b-que's. Sometimes I would not even bother to announce a party until just a few hours before. People would cancel their other plans just to come enjoy my food and company.

I even got up the will to quit smoking cigarettes after fifteen years of  heavy smoking on a daily basis.

Everything started to change when the mother of my children decided she didn't want to take her medication any more. I was supportive of her decision, because I have always been a fan of the slogan "meditate, don't medicate."  She went the route of self-medication through booze and narcotics, instead of the transcendental chant of powerful thought I was urging her towards.

Eventually our friends didn't want to hang out with us anymore. Soon our families stopped coming as frequently. Then only our mothers were willing to come over for anything other than a holiday or birthday party.

When she told me she was unhappy and wanted a divorce I begged her to go to marriage counseling. She refused to even talk about counseling. I signed up for free a marriage counseling newsletter online. It was sent to my inbox twice a week. I learned a lot. She was very unreceptive when I tried to share the things I was learning. It wasn't what she wanted to hear.

I knew when she started seeing the other man. The warning signs were all there. She denied it to me, and is even still lying about it now. Truth be told I saw the whole thing in a dream. I knew all of this was going to happen right from the start, but was powerless to stop it.

All of a sudden the most stressfull month of my life so far, statistically speaking of course, was upon me. In a span of about four weeks: my job was outsourced to China, My 2 1/2 year old son showed me proof that his mom was cheating on me, she demanded I move from my house and let her keep my car, I move in with my youngest brother, and my Grandma died. Every thing went boom all within about a 28 day period.

Now she is pregnant from her 19 year old boy friend. He is living in MY house, and I believe selling drugs out of it. She is going around to everyone she knows and spreading lies about me. He just got fired from his cashier job for selling to a minor. She is on the verge of having her hours drastically cut because she is pregnant and has a history of miscarriage and still-birth.

She picked up my children to take them for the night and was talking about how she's afraid for her job, and wants me to help her more. I am just really pissed that she thinks it is okay for her to try to make me feel obligated to help her out of the mess she made for herself. I said it to her and I say it hear too. She is not my problem anymore. Lying to me Cheating on me and deciding not to be married to me, were her decisions and they are the nicest things she has ever done for me.