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Crushed???

Dear Lipstick,
Your wish is my command. If you need a friend / secret admirer (that you know in advance lol), I am your guy. If you want me to crush you, I will. But be careful what you wish for. It would be my pleasure to "crush" you. Please be forewarned, have plenty of H2O on hand because I anticipate my "crush" to be devastating to you, in a good way. Not long after I "crush" you, you will be contacting me for drinks and then more "crushes", waking up in the middle of the night and send me messages to "crush" you. You will not be able to stop my "crush" but it can sometimes be contained. Please allow a "JOHNNY VEGA$ CRUSH" to run its course over a 48 hour period. Please do not operate an 18 wheeler, back-hoe or large dump trucks. Avoid alcohol at all cost because it only doubles the length of the “crush”. Now with all that being said, “What you going to do when the “JOHNNY VEGA$ CRUSH” comes for you!
Sincerely,
John
aka JOHNNY VEGA$
p.s. Please return the love – Rate / Fan
==============================

then I get this about an hour after his friend request:

Dear lipstick,
I hope you like chocolate. I had a Master Chocolatier in Belgium make these just for you! I had them flown in this morning for peak freshness. Have a great day!
Sincerely,
John
Aka JOHNNY VEGA$

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