been murdering more then charles manson
raging out listening to marilyn, beautiful people turned ugly
once i come thru smashin....
ya'll was fucked the day my momma decided she loved me
if she didn't want me a coat hanger coulda poked inside of her tummy
coulda got me, but she didn't now the world has to deal with me
I'm truly epic, closest you get is an epic fail pic
a picture of you holding a mic and jus staring at it
i cause phisical illness so i'm still sicker than you
keep killing everybody and just say its a case of dejavu
way sicker then sickle cell casting sicker spells
my soul dwells in hell mindstate to bomb like sleeper cells
shrug shoulders like o wells, my care meter is stuck at one
only care about myself, care for others? i have none
a nun told me about being loved cus i'm someone's son
some higher being based on some book of religion
mite be a chosen one, got a circle glowing over my head
torn black angel wings and a big misplaced demon tail
nevermind that's my penis, it was just kinda hard to tell
what in the heaven? i mean hell, dead men tell no lies
dead men don't tell truths either, lookin dead in their eyes
double meaning like my alter egos that i lose myself in
do gooder that was given sin to deal with from within
couldn't keep the sin in, suicide bomber way of thinkin
it's ok as long as you were in the same explosion i was in
no coming back from that, put the nail in the coffin
bury me with a mic i'll keep making songs like tupac shakur
pour out a lil liquor and get my corpse drunk, thank you jager!
tombstone scripture reads somethin bout a microphone murderer
dig deeper and find the ones that battled me, anybody killer
everything has a point or a reason my mind is the same
what you think is insane is actually in reality pretty sane
let you pick apart my brain and try to draw your own conclusions
try to paint between the lines of the patterns of my thoughts wildest illusions
a delusional wreckage of good and bad thoughts crashing together
its a beautiful disaster that makes me one of a kind, my own master
mastermind ideas that go over your head 40 times before you say ''oh i get it''
you thought i was aimless when i really knew exactly where i was headed
i was crazy heading for the clouds the stars and the moon too
sat on the moon just waiting for some aliens to pass through
probably the only things in the universe that wouldn't think that im crazy
how can i get judgment from things that do anal probes on the daily
gotta be kidding me, just let me rest my head while i have this chance
feet dangling in a crater, head on a star, as i give earth a distant glance
asking myself if i would go back there if somehow i could
sure why not, but really not sure if i ever should
will ya ever understand me most likely not
a vacation outer space would probably help a lot
just need some time away from this place
so if ya can't find me on earth look for me in my own space
this world is not my own, where i lay my head is not home
any recollection of a past life seem to be all gone
you're wrong, dead wrong as a matter of fact
i made a wrong turn and i don't know how to get back
understand that my mind is cracked, important thoughts leak out
but you still ain't lived my life so its not for you to speak about
i put this out for my own well being
deep meaning, put out to read cus seeing is often believing
put it to audio even though we only believe half of what we hear
people tell me the lyrics are hot but i play it by ear
so i only half believe my own hype imma constant doubter
always think i can do better even once praise gets louder
still chillin on the moon watching the aliens drag race
riding on hover ships that blew the moons dust in my face
they told me i have a gift, i should go back to earth and set it ablaze with my mind
control peoples emotions with my words, the world could be mine
so i get my head off the star tell my new friends goodbye
jump off the moon wait to float and then crash thru earth's sky
going so fast that tears form and fly out of my eyes
i'm back now, cus i have no reasons to ever hide
Weeee! and such. la di da la la
''my cranium is packed with things that come untact
coming unglued, mite need some welding to help seal the facts
the facts that rap is filled with traps and gaps that lead to a pitfall
big money stacks that lead to vulchers on your back waiting for you to fall
but forget that just let me blow by all of my minds hangups
show me a bright day where everything is on the up and up
say what's up to the people i'm truly friends wit
hold onto my love i promise i'll be back for it
death sentance by virtue of trying to bring the realness
can't bring pac back but can write raps to make you feel this
this ever imposing pain that continues to flood my brain
with negative outlooks on just about everythang
nothing seems sain, rational on thangs is all gone
my common sense led me to believe i was right when i was wrong
my guiding light must have burned out and i didn't know it
always the last to know guess my mind kept a secret
goin down the same road i traveled a long time ago
got bad luck though, fork missed the road and stabbed my damn toes
dealing with the woes of the world buts thats how it goes
just goes to show all the opportunities that we blow
life goes on but sometimes it just moves to slow
push fast forward quickly cus i'm so ready to go
***Chorus***
Pressure leads me to my fatal misteps
calculate every move up the heavenly steps
crank up the choir and make the angels with harps sing
not ready to go but who knows what tomorrow mite bring
express myself about as much as i can
with these words that i put together again and again
talking about drama, anger, pain & love that go hand in hand
with a few moments of brightness where happiness creeped in
Need more of those, sick of writing these depressing tales
sick of hurting so bad thru words that even the deaf & blind feel it like braille
ready for a change on the inside, but on the outside you can't tell
so i feel like a liar, my damn my pants are on fire and it hurts like hell
oh well push on move on keep your head up carry your feelings
wear no emotion on the face to show the fatigue that i'm feelin
carrying a boulder on my back that has peices of it fallin on my shoulders
thats why i walk around with a chip on it as the heart grows colder
damn i need to stop, i'm wallowing now but i will not stop
ya know what forget it, and at that moment everything dropped
except me, only time i will fall to my knees is to speak to god
what had dropped a second ago was all of my damn probs
boulder off, chips brushed off, the bag of problems i had got tossed
i was walking with my eyes closed and felt so loss
but i gotta get back on the right track at all cost
i'm a lost cause possibly but you'll never catch me not tryin
wanna be like tim mcgraw and try to live like i was dyin
mite not acomplish anything but atleast i know that i tried
and everything you read or hear is only there cus of the tears that i've cried
so everything has a point even when you think that they don't
nobody wants to cry but if you think you gonna feel better holding it in you won't
***Chorus***
Pressure leads me to my fatal misteps
calculate every move up the heavenly steps
crank up the choir and make the angels with harps sing
not ready to go but who knows what tomorrow mite bring''
can't tell you how many times, i done lost my mind/
lookin at people straight faced while i tell em i'm fine/
it's not a lie i'm doin it for your own good/
save you the trouble of tryin to figure someone out who is chronically misunderstood/
i stood by the lord, cried a lil and poured my heart out/
he told me he only helps those who help themselves, so i stopped holding my hand out/
never bite the hand that feeds you but i did cus i was starving/
things were taking to long and i was starting feeling caged in/
locked in, my own personal pit of hell and sin/
sick thing about it is i learned from it so i would do it again/
trials and tribulations of all these random predicaments/
that got me looking on the inside at my heart that has permanent disfigurement/
can't get complacent though dry my eyes and continue to go/
i've become one with the pain, but also with how to let the rhyme flow/
used to hold on to grudges, asking for forgiveness was met with a word like no/
follow up words like ''but i swear i'm sorry'' was met with so?/
and i look back on it now and feel like a total asshole/
now i think about em while i continue to roll/
burned bridges because i held all my words hostage/
didn't rhyme it out now i have all this excess baggage/
but with everything that i write i seem to gain insight/
on why i feel like i go thru dark times even when its daylight/
i'm a human contradiction but i like to call myself complicated/
cus i'm actually a happy hopeful person and very dedicated/
to staying optimistic no matter how much the situation seems ill faded/
cus me and the devil mite have danced but we sure as hell is hot never dated/
if the shoe was on the other foot, and i went down the wrong path/
would you weave your way in to make me swerve out or just laugh/
sit back fingers clasped twiddiling your thumbs around eachother/
whistle a soothing melody to calm your nerves cus of worry over another/
if my feelings matter to you i would speak all the words i need to freely/
but if my feelings equal a pile of shit to you then you don't need me/
so please leave me where i be, i'll catch ya later on so be easy/
if ya lucky just maybe i'll be back soon cus i feel that you miss me/
or maybe i'll let karma speak for me and just let you live with the misery.
Still working on this among other things i'm writing. who knows if i'll ever finish it lol
So yeah, i'm hella bored and somewhere inside of my messed up head i thought it was a bright idea to write a blog about nothing at all. You think i'm joking but i am sincere when i say that if you read this you will be wasting vital seconds of your life. Tell ya what i'll be nice and give you a chance to leave this blog so you can go do something productive. Ok go on....
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Well forget ya'll too! Ahem, well now that i'm talking to myself let me just say that
my buttox itches.
I wish something excting would happen right at this very moment.
I want some M&Ms.
I dislike you in all likelyhood.
I was just kidding with that last one.
Or maybe i wasn't.
I miss the old transformers cartoon.
I'm curious if i can still put my foot behind my head but i'm scared i'll get stuck.
I think i have way to much time on my hands.
I'm bored as all hell, but in a good mood for some reason.
I feel like singing right now.... so i will.
Sappy love song
''Come within my reach so i could touch your skin
don't fight a losing battle, just let me in
Don't mean that sexually, actually mean give your heart to me
Love being single but sometimes it does get lonely''
Weeee that was fun.... Imma do it again.
Angry song
''it can happen so quickly, honest eyes turn shady
look me directly in my eyes and always lie to me
Whatever, don't care... why were you so unaware?
why care when i never thought you were permanently gonna be there?
Be a waste of my time and i hate wasting seconds
you're gone and i'm happy now hope ya learned a valuable lesson''
Oooooohhhhhhh that was fun too. Maybe this blog has hope afterall... Then again prob not... Moving on. My buttox isn't itching anymore. And really..... isn't that all you came here to read about anyway? ;-) Peace
Aight time for a lil somethin diffrent in this blog this time. I'm not gonna talk about myself. I'm just gonna do a human study and see if i can figure out the way the human mind works, and in doing so maybe help someone else out that mite wonder the same things... Why is it that some humans can never admit when they are in the wrong? Does it really make the person feel that if they push the blame on someone else that they won't have to look in the mirror at themselves everyday anyway? WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! If you in the wrong admit you are in the wrong and move the fuck on. work on yourself, correct the things that YOU are doing wrong, and get your damn priorities str8. And why when somethin is said that is true but you just don't wanna hear it do you turn around and tell the very person the cruelest most untrue things? Does it make you feel better after you have hurt the very person that has done so much for you? To just disregard everything that person has ever done just because YOU fucked up and just dont wanna look in the mirror and point your finger. And the people who act like this i really wonder how it is to live inside their heart and mind. Is it nice to live in a place where you never do anything wrong and it's always someone elses fault? Is it nice to live in a place where just to make yourself feel better about yourself you need to shit on everyone who helped you when you needed them most? I guess that's why alot of people in this world don't even wanna bother being nice because it's easier to just be one of them. Could you imagine a whole world where no one was ever at fault for anything? a world where all you do is point your finger at someone else and go on with your day as if nothing was ever wrong with your actions. Wow sounds niiiiiceeee..... REALITY CHECK BASTIDS, that ain't the way the real world works. And like it or not someday you will have to answer for all of your mistakes. And no one will be there for you cuz you already pointed the finger at them all because you couldn't possibly ever do anything wrong. Cuz you live in your make believe world where you do everything you're supposed to and everybody around you that says otherwise is wrong. All because you can't bring yourself to say words like ''i'm sorry'' ''it was my fault'' ''i love you and i couldn't do any of this without you'' ''i need your help''.... Yup yup really nice way to live life, really comforting for the mind when ya don't have to do any of that.... No matter who you neglect, disrespect, hurt, just pretty much took a shit on in your never ending quest to reach the land of denial and stay there forever. And ya know what you mite find that place and if it's what you truly want WE (the good people of the world) wish you all the luck we can all muster up. I just hope you don't mind being alone and regretting all the time you wasted always thinking it was someone elses fault when you get there. Class dismissed.
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