A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"

The driver says, "Gee, Officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket" The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" (I love this part) She answers, . . . "Only when he's been drinking."

so i've been missing for awhile but now i have returned.... consider this my official notice of me returning to cherrytap... if you need me, you should know how to find me by now.

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. " My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf." The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf." Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf." With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"

just thought i'd throw this out there.... in the recent past week, i've pissed quite a few people off. frankly i don't care anymore. talk all the shit you want about me, not like it matters. for all those that still like me, feel free to hit me up and talk or whatever. i shut my lounge down and i shut my station down. too many issues, too many headaches... frankly too much nonsense.

ever feel like you are being so overwhelmed with things? ever feel like you are being consumed by the things in your life? i feel like i can't breathe at time,like it is slowly draining my body of it's life. like no matter what i do i just can't escape from everything. i guess in time things will get back to normal i suppose. all i want is just one breath, just one. that's all i ask.

if i have to listen to one more moronic fucking comment i am going to go balistic. people should really think before the type since half the time it's something stupid anyway... all i have to say on this is....

KISS MY ASS!!!

i have changed my yahoo id. if you wish to have it, just let me know and then if i want you to have it i will pass it along. have a great weekend!

i got up pretty early and then went back to bed after i made sure everything was ok. i got back up in the early afternoon and decided i was gonna make myself breakfast. i go in the kitchen and get the eggs out and make myself some scrambled eggs. i came back into the living room and i plaved the plate on top of my monitor. as i went to type something don't you know the plate came tumbling down all over me, the keyboard and then hit the floor. i spent all that damn time making myself food for it to go everywhere but in my damn mouth. at least my dogs cleaned it up off the floor.

not that ya care but i thought i'd share with you anyway... yesterday at work i moved some boxes and didn't realize till today that i hurt my back. my neck and my legs are pretty sore too. i moved them because we have 2 grown ass men that work with us in our immediate area and they bitch and moan about having to do things. so i decided instead of having to wait for them to finally decide to do it i did it myself. i am sure paying for it today. anyway that's the update.