tequila's blog: "Confucius Says:"

Better to be pi$$ed off than pi$$ed on. Man who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Woman who wear wonderbra make mountains out of molehills. Man with one chopstick go hungry Man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Man who fights wife all day gets no piece at night. Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man gives wife upright organ. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news. Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy. Man with athletic finger make broad jump. Blonde who fly upside down have crack up. A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work. It take many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it. Man who make love to girl on hill, well, he not on level. Man who sit on tack get point. Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck. Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change. He who go to sleep with itchy arse wakes up with stinky fingers. Learn to Masturbate, Come in handy. Squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts. Folk who make Confucious joke speak bad English. Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring. Man who put cream in tart not always baker. Crowded elevator always smell different to midget. Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Condom should be used on every conceivable occasion. No difference between man and mouse - both end in pussy. Bird in hand makes hard to blow nose Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary. He who let woman on top is f***ing up. He who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs. Baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless ba$tard. Girls should not marry basketball players - they dribble before they shoot.

1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets bite 2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth 3. Man who getskicked in testicles, left holding the bag 4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. 5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly. 6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day 7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night 8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone. 9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town. 10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew. 11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk 12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement. 13. Man with penis in peanut butter, is fucking nuts. 14. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time. 15. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent. 16. Man who go to bed with sex on mind...wake up with solution in hand!