the Reverend Buddha FUowned by BabygirL's blog: "clean stuff, soooo safe for work"

ok maybe not a million but . . . Who Knew??? 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, Saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive. 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, Fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, Let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew. 3. To clean your eyeglasses, Simply wipe the lenses with a soft, Clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs. 4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka And letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting. 5. Spray vodka on wine stains, Scrub with a brush, and then blot dry. 6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face. As an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores. 7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, And stimulates the growth of healthy hair. 8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka And spray bees or wasps to kill them. 9 Pour one-half cup vodka And one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag And freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, Pain or black eyes. 10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar With freshly packed lavender flowers, Fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly And set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, Then apply the tincture to aches and pains. 11. To relieve a fever, use a wash cloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment. 12. To cure foot odor, Wash your feet with vodka. 13 Vodka will disinfect And alleviate a jellyfish sting. 14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy To remove the urushiol oil from your skin. 15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain. ......And silly me! I've only been drinking the stuff.

just for fun, lol . . . YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know! YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH This is pretty neat DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read . Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758... If you haven't, add 1757. 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number. The first digit of this was your original number. ( I. e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.) The next two numbers are YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)

Woman and a Fork There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. 'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly. 'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply. 'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.' The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked. I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor. The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocol ate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!' So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork the best is yet to come.' The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket andsaw the fork in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel , indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ...being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

alrighty, to all my fans, friends and family, here's the deal. as i approach the BIG 4-0, i'm gonna ask you all for a nice personalized B-Day salute, just to see how many i get! i'll leave the design and content up to the individual, and will be sure to stop by and drop the dimes on any and all who come thru for me :D have a great week!!

Why is Easter so early this year? As you may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20.). Full moon is the 21 st. This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar. Found out a couple of things you might be interested in! Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare. Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier! Here's the facts: 1) The next time Easter that will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!). 2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME ???? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?