KiNkySLuTpUpPy's blog: "clean slate"

i spoent lots of time on here for the last year, LOts OF MONEY and made manyfriends, first and foremost i thank you for that.....but trials and turbulance does happen. my wife(queenie) is not on here and im not sure when she will or will be back. my friends from fetish lounge have all gone there seperate ways, and i cant afford to keep up with the auto 11s and the bombs. i am a mom 1st and foremost. back when i started i got rated how i still rate people, by friends and by scrolling, i never expect a payout altho i have paid out to people who rate all my pics. I appreciate the bling, mostly i got from toxic, gypsy, sweetest kiss, bug, and alot from tabs whom has been on lockdown for some tos shit, and has tried repeatly to show proof. the fun is gone for me i met people on here then i met them in real life and i love you all. to my sister she knows where to find me but it is time to close this chapter for a good while as life has called me to make other things more important. if you need to chat with me my yim handle is sinfulseduction77...please advise whom you are. Master Kevin and Master metallic you both arwe dear to me...get me anytime. my submissive sisters keep your head strong and your body stronger....xoxoxox dd

"I firmly beleive that the Dom/sub relationship is mutual and equal. Although one is Dominant, the other willing gives up control. This of course is a widely held belief in the community, but I seem to be coming acros more and more "damaged" subs. What I mean by this is that they have been train and conditioned by bad Doms. Doms who's only interest in the lifestyle is to take full advantage of subs. To me this is just plain wrong, and is making me more and more angry. You need a licence to drive, these bad Doms are making me think that a licence to Dom might be for the best. Would some form of education for Doms, and a qualification be in everyone's best interest? Would subs be safer if a prospective Dom was vetted by their peers? I know there are places you can train in the ways of the Dom, but perhaps a lifestyle wide agreement that you can't be called a Dom unless you have been on one of these training courses is needed. I would gladly submit to such a course to improve the lifestyle for all, but I what my fellow Doms think of such a system. Your thought will be greatly appreciated"

TEN RULES FOR DOMINANTS 1. Be Patient Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom. 2. Be Humble You may be God's/Goddess' gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are - and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach. 3. Be Open Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in D/s-SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style. 4. Communicate You are responsible for finding out basic, essential information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits, likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing D/s-SM without this knowledge is like Russian roulette. Talk about your head-space and your view of D/s-SM with your bottom, so that any uncertainties can be dealt with before you start playing. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits, and contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the ground rules. 5. Be Honest If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is. 6. Be Sensitive There's a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominant and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a creative synthesis of your needs and fantasies and your bottom's needs and fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it appropriately. 7.Be Realistic End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favorite porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don't try to imitate them to the last detail. 8.Be really Dominant Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images from cigarette ads or macho stereotypes. Your dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up or substitute for other areas of your life - it is you. Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately when it is called for. Don't shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have agreed to take the dominant role - now take it! 9. Be Healthy Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the amount you sleep, your eating habits, and your alcohol and drug intake affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don't attempt to do SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the scene. An attitude of "drugs and alcohol don't affect me that much... I can do it anyway" violates your submissive's trust in you and can be dangerous. If you don't want to accept the responsibilities, you shouldn't be playing the game! 10. Have Fun After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come from responsible, creative SM play.

Ten Rules For Submissives 1. Be Patient A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don't expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you. 2. Be Humble You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach. 3. Be Open You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. D/s- SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable D/s-SM friends. 4. Communicate Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turnoffs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you. 5. Be Honest Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turnoffs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous. 6. Be Vulnerable Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies. 7. Be Realistic Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment. Your top's equipment is expensive - respect it and don't abuse it. 8. Be really Submissive This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role. 9. Be Healthy D/s-SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself best by staying healthy. 10. Have Fun After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative D/s-SM play.

Daddy/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. It refers to the environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides. So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom? A Daddy Dom wants to be the center of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mold you to the image he thinks you should become. He sees in you someone who, in his mind, can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. How does he achieve his goals? Through love, respect, and discipline. His love for his little girl goes without saying. He accepts every part of her and works to emphasize the good while improving the bad. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. It is this love that allows him to train her. He could not invest so much of himself in someone he did not love completely. This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel great pride in his possession. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it's value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him. He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust she must know he means what he says. He must constantly deepen her respect for him. If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He needs to empower her as much as he wants to possess her and it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect. The discipline is also important when it comes to her protection, both from those outside the relationship and those within. He is the one who makes the decisions about how she will relate to the world in general and his discipline ensures that she follows these rules. I think most Doms have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in their submissive's life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it's participants crave.

A submissives journey What is BDSM? (author unknown) Good question! It can mean bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D/s), or sadomasochism (S&M) There are more definitions for each of those words than Baskin-Robbins has flavors. In fact, there are as many meanings as there are people trying to tell you what it all means. This is not intended as a "be-all-end-all" on BDSM; it's merely a guide put together from many different sources, not the least of which is my own head. It most often means sex involving dominance and submission. There are numerous variations, none of which can be termed more correct than the other. BDSM (or S&M, D/s, B&D) ranges from spanking to bondage to tickling to "flogging" or whipping. You as an individual set the limits in agreement with your partner. People often get the wrong idea of what BDSM means. The truth is that this alternate form of sexuality has nothing to do with destructive behavior. A 'D' (dominant, top, sadist, master/mistress) person simply wants to dominate in sex while the "s" (submissive, bottom, masochist, slave) person often wants to be stripped of any initiative. You can be both, or either, switching roles as part of your play or swapping 'sides' over time. BDSM And Feelings. BDSM supplements the more commonly accepted sexual feelings. You may perhaps wonder if loving someone and practicing BDSM can be combined? The answer is yes. You feel love the same way as other people except a BDSM relationship frequently seems much more intensive and passionate. Openness and trust, meaning communication, are absolute musts in a BDSM relationship. If your partner allows you to dominate it is a sign of absolute faith in you. This faith is based on knowledge about your partner and the limits that must be respected. You will realize the full meaning of words like affection, intimacy and passion. As a form of insurance, BDSM partners should agree on 'code words' (also called 'safe words') the "s" person would say in order to stop or moderate the 'session' if it's become too intense. Is there still room for excitement when you know your partner inside out, you may ask? The answer, again, is yes. Openness and trust clear the ground for activating your fantasies. This in turn heightens intimacy, passion and ecstasy. But keep in mind that fantasy and reality, as in other aspects of life, don't always match. As indicated already, there is no right or wrong form of BDSM play. For instance, you don't necessarily have to stay either master or slave in a relationship. Some want to incorporate a form of BDSM in most aspects of life. Others limit dominance and submission to sex, as part of the playful side in a relationship. (or something in between!) In the beginning, you may well find it hard to express your feelings in words. You may wonder what the reason behind all this is. Experts can't pinpoint exactly what circumstances make a person turn on to BDSM. Possible traumatic experiences in one's childhood are not necessarily important factors. Thinkabout it this way instead: You're not alone out there; we're all in the same boat. There are many support organizations out thereto help you learn and to assist you in accepting and enjoying your sexuality. How Can BDSM Be 'Practiced'? Dominance and submission provide the key to BDSM. Many people play roles in which they act out various forms of dominance, punishment and subjugation. A certain sense of humor does not hurt in an S&M fantasy. Bondage is one of the more 'common' forms of BDSM. Bondage covers everything from soft silk scarves in bed to chains. Spanking and whipping are just as common but the degree to which these activities is carried out varies greatly. It is important to remember that the limits are set by the "s" partner. Many begin with a light warm-up, a spanking is one way, and gradually increase the sting or "thud" sensation to the pleasure/tolerance level of the "s". Symbolic gestures and the imagination and feelings of the partners before and after the punishment are just as important as the spanking or whipping itself. BDSM play can be an extremely emotional experience for "either end of the whip" (or flog or paddle or strap or...). A very important aspect of "after-play" is aftercare. The "D" may be experiencing feelings of insecurity over their enjoyment of 'hurting' their partner (this is more common with, but not limited to, a novice). The "s", especially a novice (but, again, not limited to), will probably be running through a wide range of emotions that may well include tears. This is frequently a better time for mutual holding and soothing than it is for a Q&A session. Talk, communication, is essential, that can't be stressed enough, but allow some time to pass for the whirling emotions to settle. THEN talk. And talk. And be honest. This is where tact and that aforementioned sense of humor can be a great help. Be sensitive to your partner's needs. "Ok, I wanna 'Play', now what?" Read. Learn. Practice. Play. Read. Have fun. The words safe, sane, and consensual are the foundations of this 'love style'. (did I mention Read?) BDSM isn't about abuse. It isn't about a power play. It's about finding the things that feel good and right to yourself and, most importantly, with your partner. Take the time to study up on the subject. There are a ton of good and informative books out there. I urge you to check out the D/s Kiosk link on my Main page. They are a resource center beyond any other I've seen so far. But, remember, every book is nothing more than a guide. There are no rule books, no predefined "this-is-the-way-it-is" laws. Take what you read and adapt it to suit your own individual flavor of BDSM, within the vast boundaries of safe, sane, and consensual. Because even the meaning of those three words varies from person to person! (but do have fun, while you're at it, it just ain't worth it, otherwise!) Safe means no injuries. It means taking precautions to ensure that such possibilities are minimized. It means picking your partner carefully, even if you're only getting together for what may only be a single day or night.. or a few hours. Especially in such cases. Sane is to be aware of your and your partners limits. If you want to continue playing with your toy, don't break it. Be aware that not all damage is visible to the eye. You don't want your partner to spend the next 2 years of their life in therapy. Consensual is about consent. Mutual consent. With all parties involved. It's imperative that limits, likes, dislikes, etc, be worked out prior to any play, not in the middle of a scene. This is a good time to establish safe words, too. Remember, if your partner doesn't want to do it, it isn't BDSM, it's abuse. BDSM includes a wide range of activities involving a negotiated transfer of power between consenting partners. BDSM is not about abuse or other nonconsensual activities.

When a Dominant and a submissive are first exploring each other to see if a relationship is possible they will engage in intense conversations. Within these conversations they will discuss the range of limits and play that each hopes or feels a need to engage in. Also within these conversations will be a discussion of forbidden or hard limits. Areas that are never to be challenged, stretched or extended by the Dominant. It is important for both people to communicate clearly and openly and listen clearly and openly to what the other person is saying here. If a submissive can identify and state their hard limits then the Dominant will have a means to clearly understand where the submissive is coming from. After establishing these hard limits then the conversation will often move further into Soft Limits.