He comes in the night
that happy, sad clown
His hugs are hard and lasting
His caresses, endless
Our body's entwine like snakes
Only moisture between us
Intense heat creates steam from within
The ultimate valve - turned on
Mind spins like a merry-go-round
round and around
making me dizzy and funny inside
He comes in the night
My active mind is calling
I awake and take out my canvas
to paint his body instead
my eyes half closed
My mind touches him
with each stroke of my brush
My body feels him all around me
gentle and strong
I wet my brush to add color
Each stroke, long and slow
For that’s when the feeling comes
That heat that wells up inside
fills me with heightened pleasure
I stare at my painting
I'm in a trance
Over and over I draw on the feeling
To satisfy my deep desires
Without him even being here
My mind paints another scene
Of two bodies speaking without words
I see us tumble silently
I paint my hunger and thirst
I'm all over him
biting softly
intensely
endlessly
What a gratifying release
I cannot control my appetite
The biting gets harder
I want to eat him whole
Our arms and legs entangle
We play like bear cubs
in the empty cave of my mind
We search and explore
Playfully, harmlessly
Only sounds of pleasure
It's ecstasy on canvas
No words necessary
For this moment in time
No thought
just sensation
I'm wet all over
It ends too soon
He leaves
My canvas dries
I wonder
Should I continue to call him in my dreams
Should I continue to see him when I’m awake
Should I continue to stroke him with my mind
Should I continue to ride this merry-go-round
this roller coaster of life
It's just another night at the circus
My mind tells me ‘no’
My body says ‘yes’
Time passes
He's not with me now
This happy, sad clown
He’s probably on another ride
Maybe the other side of my dreams
With someone else
I know it's my choice
When to be that little girl again
The one who wants to go on all the rides
With all the clowns
Just to fill my hunger and thirst
Till I get tired of riding
This time I’m getting too dizzy
And it's making me sick
I can’t make it stop
Is it worth it
I wonder