willdamnt's blog: "cheep thrill"

you stopped by as if just to flawnt your disappointment in me, you held my hand like you cared again you looked into my eyes like every word was the most important thing I had ever said you told the truth because you remember how the lies felt you did not make me mad you did not break my heart you did not blow my mind you didnot disapoint your vision of what my infected life would be so right that it hurts to say I see it comming the walls I built will crumble the world I love to hide in will vanish and the ashes  for memorries will only sting as the wind blows them away I cant remember when the pain you had givin me felt so good I taste your blood, it southe's the beast for a while as the conversation turned our eye's began to regreat the past our lips came close but the sting of love held us both back the fear that we ment that much should mean something Hurt is the word but pain is't the way to describe it I can't come up with one word..

Those feelings you had you told me how the heart I heald was your you tricked me into tears you skillfully cut my heart slow enough for me not to feel it till the end I know the cut I know the mark only because long ago i did the same to not one but many hearts this kiss you gave to me I held close to me then to realiseit was so close to my heart it took small bites to feed its desire for revenge a snake in the clear water  my vision blinded by the best intent I walk to the edge just to look down to late the fast aproaching ground will give a perfect place to land a damaged soul I will  live to sip from the cup of love more or less cautius  of the warmer doors that leed to hell

So  pissed I could FUCK!!!!!   ever get to the point where what you were raised to follow was too much moarlly were we rong to have rules i sorta like the no fault world that we fucked up so well i mean so many pills  somany problems evryone is rich with invisable money i feel like i want to stab the next fucker with a good slice of pie fucken sugarcookies and weed make for odd rants.. that empty usatisfied feeling that loss that where did my world go what happen to kicking your kids ass when they need it and whooping a fathers ass to remind him when he goes too far what happend to "will work for food "  now its hey i'm poor give me"  the warnings are out there not the end but a big crash in what we have who knows just a lot unclear right now so much wonder where it all goes wonder where the world ends or where my version went i want the origonal feeling of love not this copy with all those inperfections in it i want my fuck-ups not the ones the new people made change it back name me a 16 year old child NOT on some form of medicine , , ,

ok so there is bits to something bigger there right/? meh who knows but do u even see a point?? respondplease hell cal me a dick just be real i  write back..

do we remember what it takes do we have the streingth to make an us from you and I  do we have love  or is this just another addiction this feeling like love not knowing anybetter than the rest doing what it takes to stop from falling in love we all know you fell fast and i fell hard so the perfection  that was ours was shattered like glass hearts with shards of blood to cut so deep and leave me bloody and wanting you to heal me my heart lost to a foolish fate my mind just lost I long for your touch but not the pain take the hurt back it was just a lil above too much for me to take all by itself, now I look to dive int oa whole new pool ,  . . .. .

dear soul how can you cry yourself to sleep there is anger to be expressed my mind is so packed in tight like  23clowns in a smart car my own neurotic foot is forcing thoughts that would make the earth puke into my mouth these words ain't mine but the hurt is what I wanna show you the hurt that made cry blood, I spit tears for those illusions you stuffed into me bloating my mind knowing my ego would fallow you looked for a switch to through a reason to bail a new way to escape but i can't blame you I run from my heart too I stood by as confusion ransacked what Lil sanity I had left I opened a door asked for a cool breeze and got that and a storm more of emotion the air was coo now its always hot in my head the world tastes my bitter spite but not the knife I am ready to make it bleed like my heart but this new air  has tricked me twords the door but humbly to love or the illusion of i abide to simply obey like some sorta insominatic patient addicted to your pills I truley am "love sick" the cure would seem to be love but all i found are generics write me something strong for the pain doc write me what love deserves,

I love the escape but when I fly Away I want the world I have here to come with me to the forever after tomorrow~

  I don't sleep well even with the wealth of friends both here and home I don't have people to tell secrets any more I have no guilty pleasure their is no us there will be ne we even if their is an hours evrything together was yours my love yours my thoughts yours my pride yours my walk yours my sense of evrything all rolled into togethrness the collapse of my personal world trapped, under a clutter of emotions from rage to freedum then as the dust settles and my slow ravaged sence of disillusion shows up to give some false hope for a sense of releif even an answer to this but no that is crushed by backlash an aftershock from being in love so long those mistakes that fools make  again we clim to the top of the ruble and servey the damage we pick up some peices looking to find the right place to start are minds wander to strange far off hopes of instant love when we know what we had to work hard @ what we had befor the wind of change always stirs up the dust around us please dont let the good feelings bleed out into anger another crushing after shock U rang my bells and your light shined on me again until I saw the change its infectius views trapped your mind in a bulldozerand left it to clear a path for another world my walls will stop you for now because this is mine my crumbled heart and I I ALONE will build it maybe to give again maybe . .. ..

striking me with your deviled eye's, teasing me with that sinful tongue lewer my foolish hart with lust temp me taunt me but you never really loved me ...


I'm gonna KILL YOU"  you know you have all said it to someone a lover a friend a lovers friend some old dude that cut you off in traffic whatever, but lets take a moment to look this thought over for real,... how many of you can say with 100% sure confidence you could do it could you complete the whole task not just  simply run some one over and laff at them no I mean take your time think it through plot scheme roll through the basic steps of body disposal, Could you do it face to face can you look her in the  as life fades from her  watching the innocence trickle out of her  could you lay her down  could you wrap her in plastic could you be the one to close her eye's or would the ever beating heart crept into your head and drive the guilt out, could you do it in the moment of anger could you not stop to see the face of the one you just shot would you look back to the world as one you knew but know feel lost in or would it make you worse for where would it obscure your mind to the point where sometime soon you will need to fill a desire then another each twisting your mind further down the rancid depth of anti-socialism, would you willingly slaughter those who simply sinned against you, would you hold the love you have for man and destroy him to watch his pain grow, call it what you want murder revenge a shitty end to a crappy person ... could you do it and what makes you think so.. ( and don't give me that what makes you think  I haven't shit I'll slap you that's lame if you did say so and tell me the fucking truth you bunch of fucking liars)

lets discus this upbeat mental case we call a sociaty for a bit lets look at ourselfs what has become of us we cluster ourselfs under groups that we make up just to feel like we belong somewhere, we have cures for shit that is not even a problem the pills come oit so fast that you start to think there is something wrong with you if you dont take something, I remember it all changed on the middle of a dream the world wonderd looking for light to see our way back to bed, now awake alone and scared that if we wake the rest the confusion will destroy all we have so move about my minions be stealthy, Don;t rock the boat, just get to the captin and and kill him we want controll those that ave the power need to begin to use it but be wise and drain your enamies slow so as not to let them return it is with all the love I say kill gently but kill nun-the-less.  

Puppy love to you all. . .. .Even the X without you i'd have more bulets in this gun...

I often times logg right onto a site and ca spit some random truth or thought of love or some sort of writen twisted view of the world that even the most conserviive of eople still like it even though they dont like the nessage, but today that does not seem to be the case I sat for like 10 - -20 minutes trying to come up with some cleave thought that would make me come of as rather smart but fuck that I'm not rather smart I am just regular smart I don't know it all I wont pretend I do ILike strange shit I like to explore and sometime exploite the world I lke to touch things hat are pretty not just look @ them I like joints in the morning and bongs @ night I like to run on about the most pointless of shit I like rant and rave when I cant do shit about the problem i like to start fighs but will avoid one if I can I like to argue with old people I like to beat up school kids I like bronto burgers and thin cut fries I like chees apple pie and america not to say that I always like americans, I miss the old way I wish the new way worked I wish the old way would crashinto the new way i wish that I wished the right wish I wish candy tasted like ohh wait maybe that might be pushing it .. im normal i swear,,

    Normal is a setting on r dryer people lets not forget that