Black Dahlia's blog: "Chaos In The Form Of Paradise"

if only i could burn all

that i felt for you

if only i could burn all

that you meant to me

i could maybe begin

to heal

maybe begin to

feel

hate

love

all these things i fought

all there things strove to overcome

maybe you're the last

maybe you're the last that

i will ever

weep over

bleed over

dwell over

i'm done

i'm done with you

i'm done crying over you

i'm done abiding you

i'm done enduring you

needless to say

i'm over you....

all i long to do is thrive

all i long to do is live

somwhere beyond this

passive parasitic existance

i call life

i only want a sign

something signifying

that things will get better

if i could only see that

i'd change anything

just to feel something

so flawed so addicted so conflicted narcissistic isn't the word to describe it i'd have to hate myself a lot less for that take shape take aim boy this is your life now fight for a cause you never truly bought but will ultimately pay for

i only want to face

the only one i never can

i only want to face

the one that i can never escape

i only want to face

the onlly one left

i only want to face

my own face left in the mirror

i only want to face

the one holding my back

the one prohibiting me

from truly accepting

from all i hold inside

 

this isnt meant  to hurt

this isnt meant to offend

 

 

too many times have i been scorned

too many times have denied

 

the worst form of rejection,

is that in the form of

false acceptance

the idea that someone

accepts you

loves you

includes you

for who you are

but then denies you

forsakes you

for everything you

had already given

everything you've already promised

 

 

you cannot take that back

you cannot suppress the hurt

you cannot suppress the reality

 

 

everything is decay

only you and i

 

 

 

 

know our truths

 

 

 

 

there is no jury

 

 

 

 

 

for our reality

one day you'll finally wear me down

 

one day you'll finally break me

 

one day you'll send me to the brink

 

all i want you to know is

i want you to see

that there was a precursor

there was a precident

 

a person can only be worn down

for so long before they

finally call it quits

finally say

no more

 

 

no rest for the wicked

that scorned heart cried

she lied at night

tossed and turned

only hoping for the brain

to shut down

to quiet to calm

to silence to cease

the neverending what ifs and why fors

that plagued a weakened state

nothing could ever be explained

no nothing could ever be resolved

but that would not bring the sleep back

no nor could it give back what

the night used to hold

so deep within the grasp it was held

the penance unknown.

lasting oblivion shines no forgiving light upon the faithful

those rested upon bended, calloused knees

pleading to a false prophet behind a bloodstained altar

the faithless find solace in a freed and enlightened mind

however slaves to their own disillusion

the colaboration of shame love hate and beauty can be found

in broken bones or a garden of flowers

everything we are is nothing in the end

supplicating towards a broken idol

will allow you no favor in the eyes of nihility

the broken beauty lies upon the cold porcelain floor

a life so loathed for no other reason than spite

lay cracked, a waste

a selfish sacrifice to spit in the face

of the ridiculous agglomeration

and in almost a reprisal,

another, falls upon those calloused knees once again

pouring a scarred heart upon the shrine

fit not for savior saint nor matyr

 

 

in an end so bleak the sky lay shrouded the dark and gray overtaking what once was light your satisfaction manifesting to the gloom overhead leeching all warmth from the air when you fall from atop your throne i shall not spare a rope nor a hand your fall shall be great from the kingdom you created only to rest in the grave you have made