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So, being off of work the last 5 weeks has really taken its toll on me. I was depressed - more so than usual - and I just didn't want to do anyting. The reason I was off: high blood pressure issues and possible heart problems. My blood pressure isn't stable, it is still all over the place but I simply cannot afford to be off of work any longer. I burned through what I had in the bank, including my savings, and the bills just are not going to wait any longer.
My doctor ok'd me to go back to work next week, that was only after I explained to him that - even if we got my blood pressure to stay in the good range with me not working, what guarantees did I have that it wouldn't be all over the place again once I went back to work. So, instead of being off of work until December, like he originally wanted - I was told I can go back to work.
Admittedly, I am nervous about it. I know some changes have been made. My boss called the other day to give me a choice between several target jobs - I chose the one that -of course - is the easiest. That was another reason I didn't want to be off of work any longer: my boss had said that if I was going to be off another month, I would get bumped off of that job and be stuck signing again when I went back. Another reason I didn't want to be off - even with the FMLA paper - since I hadn't been an employee for 90 days, I could only miss 12 weeks. If I had been there past my 90 days, I would've had 18 months.
So, I used the last few weeks to get some stuff taken care of: my online store opened, more designs to put on merchandise in the store, I made up business cards & flyers advertising my design business. I guess the medical issues made me see that life really is too short & if I don't take chances I will never know what could've been.
The only thing I haven't changed - my relationship situation - it is still the same f'd up, bulls*** situation that it has been for the last 10 months of almost 2yrs we've been together. I am seriously getting tired of the nonsense - it's been complicated for quite some time - I've tried (probably not as hard as I should have) to walk away several times, but the pain gets to be too much and I say "Let's give it another shot." I don't know if I could do better so much as I know I deserve a better situation than this one. NO, he is NOT abusive - I mean he can be a douche bag but then again, can't we all?
I've been tempted to find a 'friend with benefits' but I'm not the cheating type - regardless of situation. I guess only time will tell as far as that is concerned.
Anyway, if you get a minute, please stop by http://www.cafepress.com/gypsyheartdesign
Have a great day & Thank you!
