2am Sunday night 1st of April..cant sleep..This time a year ago we knew we were losing my dad. He had fought cancer for seven years, had numerous operations..chemotherapy for the whole time, but the shitty cancer kept coming back. And like so many people who face this horrible disease, he didnt complain,he got up everyday and faced it head on. Diagnosed at 59 with bowel cancer which then spread to Liver cancer my dad was amazing. Six months before he died..he packed up mum and their dog and headed off in the car around Australia, calling me on their satellite phone from the middle of the Australian desert where they were staying on a cattle station in the middle of nowhere.Im so glad they did this..my parents are and were amazing..half way through dads years of cancer..my mum was diagnosed with tongue cancer, she had a massive operation and had part of her tongue removed. Dad stopped his treatments to look after her, and together they fought off this disease...mum has been clear since..dad wasnt so lucky.
Makes me wonder..why some people get this disease and others dont..I dont think people believed me when I told them both my parents had cancer..its is and does sound unbelievable..I hate the fucking disease..hate it with a passion for what it does to people..it eats you from the inside out, takes away your dignity and your right to live free of pain.
It took away my dad...way to early..he was only 65 he should have had another 20 years or more..more time to watch his grandchildren grow up..more time to grow old with his wife..more time to be with me.
There are still days when I go to pick up the phone and call him..now all I can do is touch the urn as I walk in Mums front door..Christ I hate this disease.
Here I was thinking I was coping, that I was happy that dad was now pain free..but 27 days from the anniversary of his death I realise Im still angry.
