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Can't believe summer is already over, and this month (Sept.) Is more than half over also. Fall is around the corner and i cannot wait. I enjoy the cooler weather, and the change in seasons. But then comes all the hecticness of the holidays and soon enough another year gone. Noooo I am not rushing the year even if most might think this.
Every year I look back on previous years of my life and what I have done for others and for myself. The scale always tips mainly to doing and helping others which is a good thing. It's just that every year around thanksgiving it starts that I get down and depressed, and every year I have to put on a smile and get through another holiday, but I feel every year when most are happy and celebrating a little piece of me dies on the inside.
I used to see my life so different from what it is as today, i thought at my age that I would or might have been with the women of my dreams, but that has yet,to happen if at all. I thought maybe just maybe within that time also that i might have a beautiful daughter or a handsome son. Yet again just another setback in my life. It is very hard,to see 98% of your friends and family with a family,of their own and some how being with the exception of one, the only single person left of everyone. I cant even say my bestest of friends is single he has a smart, beautiful gf, and they go together perfectly.
As the days, weeks, months, years go by, people are always asking me or wondering why am I alone, and not with anyone. So I tell them I have not found my someone yet. In my mind though I know that at this point it is a 40/60 shot of meeting that someone. I am always just in the friend zone, nothing more nothing less. Have I expressed how I have felt or I feel toward women, sure of course. So what happens again just "the friend zone" or I get ignored or the best one is that I get a text message saying that it wouldn't work out and that we should stop being friends and not talk to one another anymore. How sad is that lose someone over that.
Lastly, I usually hate writing about my life or things going on within it, If someone asks me a question in chat or pm fine I will answer and what not, have no problem doing so. I am posting this cause I just want people to know whether you are male or female, if someone takes a moment to talk to you, please, pleaseeee take a moment to listen whether it is friend, family, co-worker, just take a moment and listen, and try to help or just ask if something is bothering them if you notice, even if they say nothing is wrong or I don't want to talk about it, at least you asked even if they do not want to talk about what may or may not be happening.
