Considering that the hearts desire of every individual walking this planet can conceivably be different, and that if each of these individuals were able to have whatever it is that is that want, that desire, that waking need, would this push the world into a chaos that could be the end of all, or, would it elevate the society as a whole because from the point of birth, individual want is accepted, nay beyond tolerance, encouraged by the population as a whole. Therefore this desire becomes aligned with a calling from god to the priesthood, one that would be akin to sin to ignore.
It is what I can understand of society as a whole that this is not the case. Have individuals been taught since birth, that the community wants are of greater import then those that are harbored within our recognition, and this then creates a dysfunctional society, one that will turn these individuals to perform outrageous acts against the society that frustrates and enrages the personal identity, and want? Is this indeed the core of evil, the idealized society that community is above the individual wants, that the good of the many outweigh the good of the few, that taking this idea to the level of discouraging individual “selfish” freedom to ambitiously achieve their core want, has created the neglect and abuse of the community by these very same “individuals”?
I can attest the desire, the choking want that has become a wellspring of misery within my own person because of this frustration; however I have been given the opportunity to know that my hearts desire is plausible. I have been one to challenge that society, those others that are a part of my community, will not benefit from their conception of what I want. I have, against the wishes of those that hold my best interest in their hearts and therefore are the most dangerous, done what I wanted. From that perspective I have found true delight, when I have followed my want, I have found happiness and from that happiness a functionality that is beneficial to myself, and in turn has become beneficial to those that surround me.
There are times when this want, desire, this selfish joy has been misdirected and it has been at a cost of my own esteem, my own person. I have had to learn the lessons of boundaries, but if these lessons are to be the guide for my future actions, then why is it so difficult to adhere to them? If I want something that is not possible, based on these boundaries, it is suitable to argue that I cannot have this want fulfilled. But because of this knowledge, the knowledge of what I cannot have, I am therefore left with this unfulfilled, unchecked and un seeded desire. I am choking with misery, tears of frustration well up in my eyes at the very thought of this inability to fulfill my want, and the very fact that I cannot accept that this want will be left as it is, unfulfilled, is driving me into that very state, as mentioned above, that will create a negative impact on those around me.
To live is to want, to want is to know, to know is to have joy. To want without the fulfillment of knowing, is to have pain and suffering, is it better to not want after all, so there is not that off shoot of suffering? Given that knowing what you want, and not achieving or having that want fulfilled is akin to the most miserable sorry state a human can suffer?
