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Ahhh, weddings. Just you, your beloved, your family and friends, a horde of police, some bloody noses, a stockpile of ammunition and a domestic battery charge.
Twooooooo Wub.
The honeymoon was over before it even began for a pair of lovebirds at their Illinois wedding last weekend.
According to The Chicago Sun-Times, Sean Kelly walked down the aisle with his roommate's sister (sounds dirty, but it isn't) on July 26.
But no one could have guessed what would be on the menu at the reception: knuckle sandwiches. (Ba dum dum. Thank you!)
It seems that once the party got started, things went south fast, and a West Side Story-style brawl erupted between the bride and groom's families.
(Hey, it happens. I had to cagefight my brother-in-law at my wedding when he requested the Chicken Dance.)
"Different people started arguing and it got personal," Huntley Police Chief John Perkins told the Sun-Times. "There was a lot of pushing, shoving and yelling."
And how.
Apparently, the groom busted open a can of how-do-you-do on his newly minted brother-in-law.
Then, as the cops looked on, police said Kelly opened up his trunk, saying he needed to give some items to his brothers "for safekeeping."
But were they corsages? Perhaps the unity candle? A groomsman's gift? No.
They were six guns and a cornucopia of ammunition.
Yaaaaay. It's like Family Feud, with less John O'Hurley and more bullets!
But even the cops know it's rude to show up to a wedding reception without a present.
They gave Kelly, his new bride and his brother-in-law a free ride to the big house!
And as of the following Thursday, none of the incarcerated parties had posted bond.
"The honeymoon is being delayed," Perkins said.
Tee hee hee.
