toxic's blog: "breathing room"

Each Joker's Card album was labelled "Dedicated to the Butterfly". Violent J explained this dedication, and it was reprinted with every copy of the Sixth Joker's Card. Here's the dedication explained as it was written in the booklet with the Sixth Joker's Card... Violent J: "I was maybe 7 years old. My brother Rob was around 8 or 9 I guess. We were outside playing in front of our house in suburban Berkley, MI. I remember it was a regular summer afternoon, we were hanging out in the yard or whatever when my brother Rob screamed 'Joe I caught a giant butterfly! Hurry up and get the jar!' I grabbed the jar off the steps and ran over to him. Somehow, some way, he had actually managed to catch one of them big ass, pretty, orange, yellow and black butterflies right out of the air with his bare hands. Unbelievable. If you remember anything about being a kid, you remember them things are uncatchable. They'll fuckin' sit there and dance, slow motion, in the air style, right around your fuckin' face while you bust your ass trying to catch it. Somehow, on this regular summer afternoon, Rob happened to scoop it right out of flight with his bare hands. 'Hurry, get the jar opened up and ready, I can feel its wings trying to get away!' Finally we had it safely and sound in the jar with the fresh poked holes in the lid and everything. We knew that we'd better let it go soon though. We looked at this creature as an animal more than an insect. Plus being that age, this animal was more than just a bug to us. It was our homie. We decided we would just have it spend one night with us and we'd let it go in the morning. Plus we figured a whole family of giant butterflies might even come looking for it if we didn't. I mean this butterfly was so big, and colorful in that jar. It even looked like it had fur on it. It was absolutely awesome. That night, as usual it was hot as hell in our bed room, so we took the fan and pointed it right into the holes of the butterfly's jar. We didn't think much of it at the time other than hopefully the butterfly will be comfortable while he's spending this night with us. The following morning, much, much, to our sadness, the Butterfly was dead. Our guess was it had to be the fan blowing on it all night. We didn't mean to harm this beautiful, giant Butterfly at all. We were painfully crushed. We had a funeral right there in our backyard for it that morning. We buried it in this lil' empty box on top of some napkins and stuff. As we were paying our last respects to this butterfly, both me and my brother Rob made a vow - right then and there we made this vow: "One day, we will both make it to Heaven and apologize to the Butterfly, face to face." We made that vow when we were just two lil' young-ass kids, but what better time than then? That was us at our cleanest and purest form. We were so loving, only because were were still so untouched and unscratched by the real world. That yard was the only world we knew back then. We didn't know any real negatives, or realities even, because they are kept from most young children. We were at our cleanest points that morning. Ready for the world with our first vow and goal to complete in life. We didn't know the differences between white, black or Asian people, boys or girls, east sidaz or west sidaz, Jewish or Muslim people. None of that shit mattered to us then, and it still shouldn't. We just looked for smiling faces back then, and we still should. Look at us all now. It was the world around us that instilled all the hatred and wacky beliefs upon us all. We become one with the world as we walked through it. Once we live some life, our souls ain't as clean anymore. We all got a lil' bit older, we didn't care as much anymore about butterflies or what colors their wings had. We learned who we are supposed to hate, who we should love and even flat out how we should be as people. All of which is taught to us by other people! And who the fuck are they? We spend our entire lives trying not to do what ever is considered "stale" by everybody else. Well fuck that! Consider us stale as fuck then. We some four-week-old, desert-dried-Wonder-Bread, stale-ass individuals then. We will one day complete our vows before we pass. I want to be as clean as I was when I was 7. I want my own heart telling me what to do and how to live. We will rid our souls of this garbage that was pounded into it, and once again respect the beauty of some fresh ass shit like a Butterfly's wings. One day, we will get to Heaven and apologize to the Butterfly, just like we said we would. We're going to Shangri-La, baby. Sorry if that upsets you... wait, no we ain't! Fuck off if that upsets you. The bottom line is we want nothing more out of the rest of our lives but to see you Juggalos there in Shangri-La with us." The Butterfly was one of the most speculated aspects of the first 5 eras of Joker's Cards.

Axe: A sharp blade on the end of a long wooden handle, used to chop wood....MOSTLY Big Money Hustlas: Insane Clown Posse's first movie Bigot: Racist, hater Born Twiztid A fake documentery about Twiztid. Only 30 minutes long but funny as hell! Chedda: Money, skrilla Cherrie Pie: See Cotton Candy Chicken: A redneck, bigot, racist Cotton Candy: Neden, pussy, vagina, cunt Dark Carnival: A dark carnival that Shaggy and Violent J often preach about. Delray: A neighborhood of Detroit, Michigan. Southwest Detroit Echoside: A fate worse than hell Facepaint: The make-up used by ICP and Twiztid (and more) Faygo: A cheap ghetto pop that Insane Clown Posse throws on Juggalos at concerts. More info: here Feminem: Eminem diss Floob: This is what Violent J and Jumpsteady called themselves when they were kids. It means scrub. Fright Fest: Twiztid's own version of Hallowicked Gathering Of The Juggalos: An event that happens only once a year where Juggalos and Juggalettes can meet, hangout, have a great time with other Juggalos and Juggalettes and see there favorite artists all perform live Hallowicked: A 10 year tradition amongst Juggalos, every Halloween ICP puts on a concert in their hometown of Detroit Hatchetman: Psychopathic Records logo. Created by Shaggy 2 Dope. Seen on everything Psychopathic Records. Hell's Pit: Hell, the eternal flames Hoe: A whore, slut, hoodrat Hood Rat: Whore, slut, the girl that be fucking all the boys Hound Dog: Some one that swings from your nuts, wanting autographs and pictures Inner City Posse: Insane Clown Posse's first group name, also the Detroit street gang they ran with ISI: Infamous Superstars Incorporated, Gang consisting of Jamie Madrox, Monoxide Child, Blaze, and others JCW: Juggalo Championshit Wrestling Jokers Cards: Six albums that tell messages of the Dark Carnival. More info: here Juggahoe/Juffalo: Some one that acts down with the clown but really isn't Juggalo: Believer of the Dark Carnival, big fan of one of any Psychopathic Records artists Juggalette: Female Juggalo Juggalo Championshit Wrestling: JCW, Psychopathic Records own wrestling organization that was ..2 behind the WWE. Killa: Used in the same context as Juggalo and Ninja Majik Recordz: A Sub-Label of Psychopathic Records started and run by Psychopathic's Twiztid. This project has been canned, or at least put on hold for the time being MCL: Much Clown Love MFL: Much Family Love Moonshine: Homemade booze Necromancy: Style of magic using the dead Necrophilia: Sexual activities with the deceased Neden: See Cotton Candy Ninja: Warrior in Japanese culture, assassin, down ass Juggalos Ninjette: Female Ninja Nizzos: Testicles, balls, nuts Nugbone: Your neck Nugget: Your head Pink Eye: Condition you get for eating too much pussy Psychopathic Records: Underground record label that was founded in 1991 by Joe Bruce, Joey Utsler and Alex Abbiss Red Neck: Hillbilly's from Southern United States, usually racist. Often represented by a Rebel Flag. Scrub: Outcast, they dont fit in anywhere, broke ass ninja Shangri-La: Heaven, paradise Shank: Knife Shockumentary: A documentary on ICP and Juggalos that explains everything up to the 4th Joker's Card. Skrilla: Chedda, cash, bones, money, dollars Slim Anus: ICP diss name/song for Eminem Trees: Weed, green, dank Vampiro: Wrestler for the JCW and one of ICP's homies Voodoo: A type of magic typically reffered to as a black magic Wang: Penis, dick, popsicle Wig Split: Crack ya head in half Zuggalo: A big fan of Zug Izland. Like a Juggalo, but for Zug

Defiantely trying to put myself in a better mood right now, thanking the people that commented on the rest in peace blogs. Been having a down moment so trying to perk back up, I don't like being depressed or sad over something that can not be undone nor taken back. So my randomness is at the moment that...I want a hot pink penguin named Josiah wearing a stripper outfit and clear heels, that dances soulja boy. His buddy will be a purple monkey named super marky monkey. He runs around beating up people, he is so strong he can kick Chuck Norris's ass up and down the block. Together they both run around swinging hatchets and being soopa villians. Theend.<3

CORA ANN....You have ALWAYS been there for me threw everything...You helped me with Gerry, Joey, Cody, Rob, Erik and them some of people....without you I probably wouldn't be here. You kept me sane. You helped me while I was pregnant with Aaliyah, you cheered me after I lost her. You can always bring a smile to my face...If I have anything to thank Gerry for is he giving me the chance to meet you. Even after finding out that so many people are fake I know that you are real and will always be real with me, and tell me no lies, actually help me with my problems instead of making them worse like so many other people. I don't think I could ever repay you for all the kindness, honesty and friendship that you showed me. I love you sooo much Cora, I will always be there for you and Zoe...and I also thank you for giving such a beautiful god baby hehe. I swear she is mine and not Michaels lol. You know I will be there to help you move the body and dig a 10 feet deep hole. I won't be there to pay your bail......I'll be sitting right next to you going damnit yo that was fucking fun lets do it again...hehe I love you Cora Ann <3

I posted this is a bulletin but I so had to fucking put it in a blog too, just so I could save it forever and ever lol.... Okay so me and Rachel aka T~Cup are having a strange ass coversation about the pope and nuns....she is going to be a lesbian porn star nun and I'm gonna be the pope...I just want the big fucking hat lol....but anyways more into the coversation the pope was like what in his 80's when he kicked the bucket and from what I understand you have to be a male and a virgin to be the pope...How IN THE HELL can you be fucking 80 years old and stil lbe a virgin??? I don't fucking understand that shit I mean fuck I love sex it's great it;s awesome but god damnit randy how the hell can you live 80 years and not get some fucking pussy??? Not even the fucking virgin mary was a fucking virgin she fucked GOD and had the oh so loveable Jesus Christ. The virgin mary was a fucking slut, she got knocked up and cheated on Joseph with god. It's all rather entertaining when you sit and think about everything a 80 year old virgin....shit there was a movie called the 40 year old virgin not the 80 year old virgin....so I really think that the fucking pope wasn't even a virgin you know he'd be fuckin having his followers suck his dick hiding under his robe sitting on that big chair.... ok I'm done for right now lol. Toxic